How To Make People Feel Understood

Unlock the Secrets to Understanding Others


Develop Empathic Listening

Feel empowered and understood by learning to listen with empathy to enhance your professional relationships.

Develop Confident Expression

Build confidence and clarity in your communication to effectively convey your thoughts and needs.

Develop Behavioural Insights

Gain profound insights into human behavior to navigate and manage workplace dynamics successfully.

Refine your communication skills by learning to harness your emotional intelligence with one of the UK's most acclaimed management training courses.

Why Choose This Training?

More Than Just A Course Of Lectures

What gets in the way of developing and holding on to new communication skills are old habits of thinking and speaking. Even if the advice is very good the reason why it rarely sticks are the mental habits people inevitably revert to, especially under pressure.

Unlearning those old habits and internalising a more effective and lasting approach to communication needs more than a short course of lectures on how to do it.

What Makes This Training Stand Out?

What makes this training stand out is the exceptional support through one-to-one coaching sessions and continuous feedback. Changing behaviour is not an easy task as old habits are hard to break.

With a 40-year track record we can help you cultivate practical skills, and build your confidence to so you can successfully navigate real-world challenges, ensuring lasting behavioural improvements.


Join thousands of participants getting results

"What I love about this course is that I didn't just learn about the topic, this course is about ME.  I'm confident I can reliably use my new skills, even when under pressure".

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A Project Manager At A Tech Company

"A lesson for life! The power of effective communication is incredible when one masters the skills "listening with empathy" and "speaking assertively"

5 stars

A Project Quality Engineer

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Well-known companies who have used this course again and again, over many years

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Course Summary

Training Objectives

Feeling misunderstood can be frustrating. A study shows that feeling understood boosts our well-being. This training course is specifically designed to help you develop your communication skills so you can make others feel heard and valued

  • Feeling understood is a basic human need that ties closely with our mental health and boosts well - being. Listening carefully shows we care and helps build strong connections.
  • Using emotional intelligence in listening, such as active and reflective listening, allows us to deeply understand what others feel and think. It involves paying full attention, showing empathy, and being fully present without distractions.
  • Making someone feel heard includes validating their feelings, offering non - judgmental support, holding space for them to express themselves without rushing to solve their problems right away, and embracing silence to let them share more.
  • Avoiding common listening pitfalls like making assumptions or planning what to say next helps in truly understanding the other person. Keeping eye contact also plays a vital role in showing that we are engaged and focused on what they're sharing.
  • Empathy is crucial for understanding others. It involves seeing things from another person's perspective without judgment while sharing your own emotions in a way that doesn't overshadow theirs. This fosters deeper connections based on mutual trust and respect.

Develop Your Emotional Intelligence

You will learn a set of powerful emotional intelligence communication techniques so that you can manage difficult conversations, handle challenging situations, build relationships and set firm boundaries.

Transferable Skills

The goal of this training is to equip you with the tools you need to build strong, lasting relationships in your professional life, although because these skills are so transferable many clients report vast improvements in their personal relationships as well.

Develop Skills

This is a skills development rather than just a theoretical programme, so the emphasis throughout will be on you taking turn after turn, practising your skills, while receiving feedback and coaching about your effect on others.

Repeated Practice and Feedback

In your coaching sessions you will be helped to practise dealing with the kinds of situation you find challenging, again and again, until you are confident you can do it successfully.

Video Analysis

We'll combine practical, hands-on experience with video replay and analysis and discussion of the principles involved to help you gain both skills and understanding. Special attention is paid to your individual training needs, so you can practise your skills in real-life situations that you have to handle at work.

Sustained Change

That's why as well as your place in a small group, this training includes a generous amount of private and confidential one-to-one coaching sessions online, spread over several months, ensuring an exceptional level of support. This will ensure the changes you make are sustained over a longer period of time and any obstacles are overcome. Choose between online training available worldwide, or in-person face-to-face courses in the UK.

Course Dates and Price

For a list of upcoming course dates (for online coaching and face-to-face training), the locations of the next 3-day public courses in the UK and pricing Click here.

Free Initial Session

This initial coaching session serves as an introduction to the "Skills with People" course, allowing you to understand the course's relevance and effectiveness for your specific needs before committing to it.

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Learn how to tune in to others and enable them to tune in to you

The Importance of How to Make Someone Feel Understood

Making someone feel understood is crucial. It shows we care and connect on a deep level.

Basic human need

Feeling understood is a deep human need. This need ties closely with our mental health and general well-being. When someone grasps our feelings and perspective, we feel validated. Such validation can lift spirits and strengthen bonds between people.

Listening plays a key role here. It's about more than just hearing words; it involves recognising emotions behind those words. Making an effort to truly listen shows care for the person's emotional state.

This simple act goes a long way in fulfilling one of our most basic desires—to feel heard and understood.

Builds human connection

Understanding others is a stepping stone to creating strong bonds between people. This act shows that we see and value someone's personal experiences. It makes room for trust and deeper relationships.

True connections grow when we share our own emotions and understand the person's feelings across from us.

Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another, and feeling with the heart of another.

Makes us feel valued and supported

Feeling understood goes beyond just hearing words; it's about feeling seen and appreciated. It taps into our basic human need to connect with others on a deeper level. Feeling valued and supported boosts our confidence and well-being.

Every time someone takes the effort to truly understand us, it feels like they're putting themselves in our shoes. This act of empathy strengthens bonds between people, making us feel closer and more connected.

It's a powerful way to show care without saying much at all.

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Now by involving people he takes them with him

The Power of Listening Using Emotional Intelligence

Listening with emotional intelligence lets us really get what others feel and think. It's about tuning in with all our focus, showing we truly care.

Active listening

Active listening means paying full attention to the person speaking and trying to understand their message, without thinking about how you will respond. It's important to show you're listening with nods or short words like "yes" or "I see".

This helps the speaker feel valued and heard. You should also keep eye contact and avoid distractions. By doing this, you practice empathy, showing the speaker that you care about their feelings and thoughts.

It involves asking questions to clarify points and repeating back what was said in your own words. This can make sure there are no misunderstandings. Active listening is not just hearing words but understanding the emotions behind them.

It requires a conscious effort to engage with another person's thoughts and feelings without judgment or interruption. This skill can lead to better connections between people because it shows respect for their experiences and perspectives.

Reflective listening

Reflective listening is all about showing you understand someone's words and feelings. It means repeating back what a person has said, but in your own words. This shows you've not only heard them but have also taken the time to process their emotions and perspectives.

Listening is an art that requires attention over talent, spirit over ego, others over self.

By doing so, you make the other person feel seen and valued. It’s like holding up a mirror to their thoughts - allowing them to see themselves through your understanding. Reflective listening bridges gaps between people, making way for stronger connections and deeper empathy.

Being fully present

Being fully present means giving someone your undivided attention. It's about putting away distractions, like phones and other tasks, to focus on the person talking. This shows you value what they have to say.

Your body language also plays a big part. Facing them, making eye contact, and nodding encourages them to share more.

To really listen, stop planning what to say next. Just focus on understanding their words and feelings. This approach helps the speaker feel heard and valued - a key part of connecting with others.

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Learn to get taken more seriously

How to Make Someone Feel Heard

To make someone feel heard, show you understand what they're saying with your full attention. Explore more tips on connecting deeply with others through better listening.

Validate their feelings

Feeling understood is like feeling held, without a single touch.

Listening to someone opens the door. Validating their feelings walks them through it. It's telling them, "I see you and how you feel matters." This doesn't mean agreeing with everything they say.

It's about acknowledging their emotions as real and important. Say things like, "It makes sense you feel that way," or ask, "What do you need right now?" This approach shows empathy and builds trust.

Coaching yourself to respond rather than react helps too. If we practice this, we're not just hearing words; we're tuning in to someone's world—making them feel seen, heard, and valued.

Hold space for them

Holding space means being there for someone without judgment. It's about listening and not trying to fix their problem right away. You let them share what they're feeling and thinking.

By doing this, you show them that their feelings matter. This makes people feel safe and supported.

Offering a shoulder to lean on can make all the difference. You don't rush them or dismiss their feelings. Instead, you give them room to express themselves fully. This way, they know you truly understand what they are going through.

It helps build trust and strengthens your connection with them.

Offer non-judgmental support

To give non-judgmental support, simply listen. Keep an open mind and try not to judge what the other person feels or says. This approach makes them feel safe to share their thoughts without fear.

They know you're there just to understand, not to criticise.

Ask questions that show you care about their perspective, not questions that guide them to what you think is right. This shows respect for their feelings and viewpoint. People appreciate it when they can speak freely and still feel accepted and understood by someone else.

Recap what was said

Going back through what was discussed helps people know you really heard them. It's like saying, "I get where you're coming from." This approach lets the other person see that their words haven't just vanished into thin air.

You've taken them in, thought about them, and now you're laying it all out again to make sure nothing got lost along the way.

Listening is an art that requires attention over talent, spirit over ego, others over self.

Embrace silence

Embracing silence is key in making others feel understood. Silence gives them space to share more, think and feel heard. It shows you're not just waiting to reply but truly listening.

This can be hard, as we often want to fill gaps with words or advice. Yet, staying quiet helps people open up more. They might share feelings or thoughts they hadn't planned to.

This method respects the person's pace and lets them control the conversation. It's not about being silent all the time but knowing when to pause and listen deeply. Such moments can make big differences in how understood someone feels.

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Stand up for your ideas and also respect theirs

How to Avoid Common Listening Pitfalls

To dodge common listening mistakes, keep eye contact and don't plan what to say next while others speak. Explore more tips!

Not being explicit about your own feelings

Talking about how you feel is tough. Yet, it's key in making real connections. If you hide your own feelings, others might not understand where you're coming from. This can lead to confusion and misses the chance to show empathy.

Sharing your feelings helps others see the world through your eyes.

Ignoring this step makes everything harder. People need to know what's going on with you to truly get each other. It's a two-way street - understanding and being understood go hand-in-hand.

Making assumptions

Making assumptions can stop us from truly understanding others. It's like putting on the wrong glasses and seeing everything blurry. We think we know what someone feels or why they act a certain way, but often, we miss the mark.

This happens because our own experiences color how we see things. So, instead of listening to understand, we listen through our own filters.

Assumptions lead us down the wrong path. They can make people feel unheard and misunderstood—like talking to someone who's not really there. It’s better to ask questions than guess feelings or motives.

This shows you care about their perspective, making them feel valued and supported. Listening without assuming opens doors to deeper connections and trust.

Mentally planning responses

Mentally planning responses while someone else is talking can stop us from really hearing them. We get caught up in our own thoughts and what we want to say next. This means we might miss important feelings or facts the other person is sharing.

To truly understand, it’s better to focus on their words and emotions. Let go of your own ideas for a bit.

This way, you're more open to what they’re saying without mixing it with your pre-planned answers. It helps in showing empathy and making the person feel heard. By doing this, conversations become more meaningful and less about just waiting for your turn to speak.

Lack of eye contact

Looking someone in the eye shows you are paying attention. It makes them feel important and heard. Not making eye contact can make people feel ignored. They might think you don't care about what they're saying.

This can hurt their feelings or make them think you're not interested.

Making sure to look at people when they speak is a simple yet powerful way to connect. It's a key part of good listening skills. Without it, messages can get lost, and misunderstandings can happen.

Eye contact helps us understand each other better - it's like a bridge that connects two people's thoughts and feelings without words.

The Role of Empathy in Understanding Others

Empathy helps us see things from someone else's view. It lets us share feelings without judging, making connections deeper.

Understanding another person's perspective

Seeing things from another person's point of view is like putting on their shoes and walking their path. It's all about trying to feel what they feel and see what they see, not just hearing their words.

To do this well, we need to use our empathy muscles – both emotional and cognitive. Emotional empathy lets us share someone else’s feelings, while cognitive empathy involves understanding how they think and why they feel a certain way.

Doing this doesn't mean losing sight of our own views but rather widening our world to include others' experiences. This skill helps in spotting the emotions behind others' words or actions.

By recognising these emotions, we can respond more kindly and helpfully. Simply put, it's making space for someone else's inner world in ours without judgment or an urge to fix things right away.

Showing empathy

Showing empathy means understanding someone's feelings from their point of view. You listen and feel what they are going through as if you were in their shoes. It's about letting them know you get their emotions and experiences, without judging or trying to fix things right away.

You use simple phrases like "I understand" or "That sounds really tough". This helps people feel seen and heard. Empathy builds a bridge between hearts, making everyone involved feel more connected and supported.

So, while listening, keep your own opinions aside for a bit and focus on the other person's emotional experience. This way, you're not just hearing words; you're also connecting with feelings.

Avoiding judgement while still sharing your own emotions

Sharing your own emotions without judging others can be tricky. You need to express how you feel using "I" statements, like "I feel sad when..." This way, you’re not blaming anyone but talking about yourself.

It’s also good to stay curious. Ask questions that show you want to understand their perspective better.

Listening with empathy means feeling with the person, not like them. You recognise their pain as theirs and don't mix it up with your own. If they're upset because they lost something important to them, reflect that sadness back by acknowledging how tough it must be for them.

Don’t jump into telling a story of when you lost something too - it shifts the focus from their feelings to yours.

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Learn how to be soft on the person yet tough on the issue

The Basic Human Need to be Understood

We all want to feel like someone gets us.

The need for validation

Everyone wants to feel like their thoughts and feelings matter. This need for validation is a core part of being human. It's about knowing that someone else recognises what we're going through.

Validation helps us feel connected and supported by those around us. It shows us that we are not alone in our experiences.

Listening to someone and acknowledging their perspective can deeply impact how they feel about themselves and the situation they are discussing. This act says, "I see you, I hear you, and what you're feeling is valid." It doesn't mean agreeing with everything they say but rather affirming their right to feel how they do.

Such recognition from others boosts our emotional well-being, making challenging times a bit easier to handle.

Feeling dismissed when not understood

Not feeling understood can hurt. It makes one feel alone and not valued. People need to know their thoughts and feelings matter. If we don't listen well, they might think we don't care.

This can break connections between friends or family.

Good listening stops us from feeling dismissed. It shows we respect and value someone's words. Ignoring or not getting what someone says can lead to sadness or anger. Making sure everyone feels heard is key in building strong relationships and trust.

Emotional consequences of feeling unheard

Feeling unheard can lead to feeling lonely and sad. People might feel like their thoughts and feelings don't matter. This can make them lose confidence in sharing their ideas or emotions with others.

They might start keeping things to themselves, thinking no one cares.

Over time, this loneliness can hurt a person's mental health. It makes it hard for them to reach out for help when they need it most. They may struggle to connect with people because they don't think anyone will understand them.

This cycle of not being heard and understood damages relationships and personal well-being.

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People used to be scared of him - no longer

Improving Communication Skills for Better Understanding

To get better at understanding others, it's all about polishing our talking and listening ways. It starts with tuning in closely and using the right words to show we grasp what they're feeling.

The power of active listening

Active listening is a skill that makes people feel valued. It involves paying full attention to someone while they talk, showing you understand their feelings and thoughts. By nodding, maintaining eye contact, and not interrupting, you show respect for their words.

This practice turns regular conversations into meaningful exchanges.

Using simple phrases like "I see" or "Go on" encourages the speaker. These small cues signal that you're following along and care about what they have to say. Active listening builds deeper connections because it shows empathy—a critical element in understanding others' emotions and perspectives without judgment or jumping ahead with your own responses.

Reflective listening techniques

Reflective listening involves showing you understand what someone says. You repeat back their words in your own way. This makes them feel heard and understood. It's like holding up a mirror to their thoughts, so they can see them too.

To do this well, listen closely without planning what to say next. Then, use simple phrases to reflect their feelings and thoughts. This helps build trust and shows you really get how they are feeling.

By using these methods, you help people process emotions better. You also make them feel valued and supported.

Using simple phrases to show understanding

Simple phrases can work magic. They show you get it. You listen and care. Try saying, "I see what you mean," or "That sounds tough." It's like giving a warm hug with words. People feel seen and heard.

Their feelings matter to you.

You don't need big words to make a big difference. "Tell me more" invites them to share their heart out. Using these simple lines, you're walking in their shoes, even if just for a moment.

It builds a bridge between hearts - a real connection forms.

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Now he listens before jumping to conclusions

How to Help Someone Feel Loved and Understood

To help someone feel loved, understood or respected at work, start by really listening to them. Show you care through your actions and words, making sure they know their feelings matter to you.

Non-judgmental listening as the key

Non-judgmental listening is like opening a door for someone to walk through and share their world with you. It's all about keeping an open mind, not jumping to conclusions, or trying to fix everything right away.

By doing this, we let people know they're valued just as they are - no strings attached. This kind of support helps folks feel safe enough to express what's really going on inside them.

Offering a space where others can talk freely lets us connect on a deeper level. We get better at understanding each other's emotions and perspectives this way. Listening without judging doesn't mean agreeing with everything said.

It means taking the time to truly hear someone out - giving them your full attention and respect. This approach fosters kindness, empathy, and stronger bonds between people.

Asking clarifying questions

Asking clarifying questions shows you're really listening and want to understand. It's like saying, "I hear you, but tell me more so I can get the full picture." This helps avoid misunderstandings and makes the other person feel valued.

By doing this, you're taking a step into their shoes, trying to see things from their perspective. It's a simple yet powerful way to connect on a deeper level.

Use words that encourage them to open up more about their feelings or thoughts. Phrases like "What do you mean by that?" or "Can you explain a bit more?" are keys to unlocking someone else's world for a moment.

They signal that you care enough not only to listen but also to grasp the essence of what they're expressing fully. This approach builds trust and strengthens your bond with others, making them feel truly heard and understood.

Affirming understanding

To make someone feel understood, it’s key to affirm your understanding of their feelings and thoughts. This means using words that show you get what they're saying. You can say things like "I see what you mean" or "That sounds really tough." These phrases help the other person know you're with them, not just nodding along.

They bring a sense of being on the same level, sharing in their situation as if stepping into their shoes.

Using clear terms and matching emotional responses helps too. If someone shares something sad, showing sadness shows empathy. It tells them you truly grasp how they feel. Mirror back the emotions they express with your own genuine reactions.

This does more than any complex explanation could – it builds a bridge between hearts, making real connections bloom from shared understanding and empathy.

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How To Make People Feel Understood - Conclusion

Listening and understanding form the bridge to deep connections. By tuning in with empathy, we light up paths to others' hearts. Let's put our ears and hearts into gear—showing we truly hear what's being shared.

This journey of listening isn't just about words; it's feeling every pause and silence too. So, here we stand, ready to make everyone feel seen and heard, ensuring no one feels left behind in this fast-paced world.

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She now feels more confident in tackling people

How To Make People Feel Understood - FAQs

1. What does it mean to make someone feel understood?

Making someone feel understood means you listen well, see things from their shoes, and show you get their feelings and thoughts.

2. How can I better understand other people's emotions?

You can understand others by actively listening, noticing nonverbal cues like facial expressions, and trying to imagine how they feel.

3. Why is empathy important?

Empathy matters because it helps us connect with others. It makes us care about their happiness and pain just like our own.

4. Can everyone learn to be more empathetic?

Yes! With practice, anyone can get better at feeling empathy. This means paying more attention to others and learning from different perspectives.

5. How does understanding others improve relationships?

When we make an effort to understand people, we build trust and kindness in our relationships, making everyone feel valued.

6. Are there simple ways to show empathy every day?

Sure! Just listen closely when someone else is talking without rushing them or thinking about what to say next; this shows you really care about their words.

7. How can I improve my ability to make people feel understood, especially in complex situations like dealing with family members or those with narcissistic personality disorder?

Practice listening actively and recognising nonverbal cues. Understanding another person's mental state involves recognising their nonverbal communication and the nonverbal cues they present. Family members or those dealing with personal distress, such as those with narcissistic personality disorder, often communicate more through nonverbal signals than spoken words. An empathetic person understands that empathy leads to a deeper connection and increases their ability to understand another person's situation from their own perspective, acknowledging any gender differences or other perspectives that may influence how they perceive empathy. Mental health professionals often advise using affective empathy to feel empathy, as it involves recognizing others' pain and responding with an appropriate response. This approach helps address human needs and reduces personal distress, showing that unlike simple empathy, affective empathy requires consciously stepping into another person's shoes and mirroring their emotions to offer an appropriate response. Remember, a finished talking cue is your signal to respond, ensuring your response aligns with the person's needs and your understanding of their situation.

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