How To Influence Others Without Being Manipulative

Learn To Influence Ethically and Effectively


Speak With Empathy

Master active listening and empathy to build trust, making others feel valued and understood.

Confident Influence

Develop self-confidence and assertiveness, ensuring your ideas are respected and followed without force.
Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence

Learn emotional intelligence for lasting, positive connections in challenging situations and relationships.

Refine your communication skills by learning to harness your emotional intelligence with one of the UK's most acclaimed management training courses.

Why Choose This Training?

More Than Just A Course Of Lectures

What gets in the way of developing and holding on to new communication skills are old habits of thinking and speaking. Even if the advice is very good the reason why it rarely sticks are the mental habits people inevitably revert to, especially under pressure.

Unlearning those old habits and internalising a more effective and lasting approach to communication needs more than a short course of lectures on how to do it.

What Makes This Training Stand Out?

What makes this training stand out is the exceptional support through one-to-one coaching sessions and continuous feedback. Changing behaviour is not an easy task as old habits are hard to break.

With a 40-year track record we can help you cultivate practical skills, and build your confidence to so you can successfully navigate real-world challenges, ensuring lasting behavioural improvements.


Join thousands of participants getting results

"What I love about this course is that I didn't just learn about the topic, this course is about ME.  I'm confident I can reliably use my new skills, even when under pressure".

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A Project Manager At A Tech Company

"A lesson for life! The power of effective communication is incredible when one masters the skills "listening with empathy" and "speaking assertively"

5 stars

A Project Quality Engineer

Clients We Have Worked With

Well-known companies who have used this course again and again, over many years

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Course Summary

Training Objectives

Influencing others can be a minefield, teetering dangerously close to manipulation. Positive persuasion is an art grounded in respect and empathy. This training course is designed to arm you with the tools to inspire change and command influence while keeping your integrity intact. You’ll learn the power of ethical influence!

  • You’ll learn to influence with integrity by using honest communicationcaring about others' feelings and respecting their choices.
  • You’ll develop skills like active listening, confidenceempathy and adaptability to positively guide people's decisions without force or deceit.
  • You’ll use emotional intelligence in leading teams and building trust - collaborate on shared goals while being open to feedback.

Develop Your Emotional Intelligence

You will learn a set of powerful emotional intelligence communication techniques so that you can manage difficult conversations, handle challenging situations, build relationships and set firm boundaries.

Transferable Skills

The goal of this training is to equip you with the tools they need to build strong, lasting relationships in your professional life, although because these skills are so transferable many clients report vast improvements in their personal relationships as well.

Develop Skills

This is a skills development rather than just a theoretical programme, so the emphasis throughout will be on you taking turn after turn, practising your skills, while receiving feedback and coaching about your effect on others.

Repeated Practice and Feedback

In your coaching sessions you will be helped to practise dealing with the kinds of situation you find challenging, again and again, until you are confident you can do it successfully.

Video Analysis

We'll combine practical, hands-on experience with video replay and analysis and discussion of the principles involved to help you gain both skills and understanding. Special attention is paid to your individual training needs, so you can practise your skills in real-life situations that you have to handle at work.

Sustained Change

That's why as well as your place in a small group, this training includes a generous amount of private and confidential one-to-one coaching sessions online, spread over several months, ensuring an exceptional level of support. This will ensure the changes you make are sustained over a longer period of time and any obstacles are overcome. Choose between online training available worldwide, or in-person face-to-face courses in the UK.

Course Dates and Price

For a list of upcoming course dates (for online coaching and face-to-face training), the locations of the next 3-day public courses in the UK and pricing Click here.

Free Initial Session

This initial coaching session serves as an introduction to the "Skills with People" course, allowing you to understand the course's relevance and effectiveness for your specific needs before committing to it.

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People who feel understood are more receptive

The Importance of Influence

Influence isn't just a tool for the boardroom or sales pitch; it's a valued currency in our daily interactions, shaping how we inspire and engage with others. Mastering this art can steer conversations and outcomes without tipping the scales into manipulation, fostering relationships that are both empowering and enduring.

Definition of influence

Influence is about having an impact on how someone thinks, feels, or acts. It's a way to guide others without pushingthem in the wrong direction. Good influence respects a person's own choice and doesn't trick them into decidingsomething.

Unlike manipulation, which uses lies to control, influence works with truth and trust.

It helps people see different points of view and can lead to better decisions and actions. When you have influence skills, you can help others without being sneaky or bad. You understand what makes people tick and use that knowledge kindly.

This kind of power in conversations benefits everyone involved – it builds real connections instead of fake ones built on lies.

Why it is an important skill

Understanding influence helps you in many ways. You can get things done and make real changes without having to be the boss. It's about being able to gently guide people towards an idea or action that benefits everyone.

Knowing how to sway others positively is a valuable skill. In life, work, and relationships, it means you can share ideas and inspire action - all without forcing anyone or making them feel uncomfortable.

It allows for honest conversations where everyone’s voice matters, building trust and respect along the way. This skill gives you the chance to grow as a leader, create strong teams, and help people do their best.

Having this ability plays a big role in success because most important things involve other people in some way – like at home with family or friends or even when trying to impress customers at your own business.

So really, learning how not just what you say but also how you communicate makes all the difference between just getting by and truly achieving goals together.

Types of influence (manipulative vs. positive)

Influence can shape what others think and do. You might want to get your friends to try a new game or help your team at work take on a new project. But not all ways of influencing are good.

Manipulative influence tricks people. It hides the truth and tries to control them just to get what one person wants. This isn't nice, and it makes people upset.

On the other hand, positive influence is about being honest and caring for others' needs too. It's about working together, not just looking out for yourself. When someone uses positive influence, they talk openly and listen well—this way everyone feels good in the end because no one is tricked or forced into anything.

They use their understanding of feelings and needs to help move things along in a good way.

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People can't help arguing when they feel misunderstood

The Link Between Personality and Influence

Ever wondered why some people seem to sway opinion effortlessly? It's often down to the myriad ways our unique personalities shape how, and how effectively, we wield influence.

Discuss how different personality types may have varying abilities to influence

People are different, and this includes how they influence others. Some folks are like big waves; their energy can make everyone move! They're called extraverts. These people find it easy to talk a lot and get excited with others.

Their boldness can draw you in and make you listen.

Others are more like quiet streams; these introverts might not talk as much, but they think deeply. When they do speak up, their words often matter a lot because they've thought about them for so long.

And then there's the h factor - some may be tricky or pushy, which isn't good for trust. To really touch someone's heart or mind takes care, not just clever tricks.

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He's now far more aware of his impact on others

Key Skills for Positive Influence

Unlocking the power to sway perceptions and actions favourably hinges on honing specific skills that resonate with authenticity. It's about mastering the art of engagement, where you listen deeply, exude confidence naturally, and connect emotionally – all without overstepping into manipulation.

Active listening

Active listening is more than just hearing words. It's about understanding the whole message being shared. To do this right, you need to give your full attention and watch for non-verbal cues like facial expressions and body language.

Good eye contact shows you care about what they're saying. And asking open-ended questions helps dig deeper into their thoughts.

This skill lets you connect with people on a stronger level. When someone feels truly heard, trust grows between you both. Plus, it sets up strong bonds in business relationships – folks feel comfortable sharing ideas and worries with you because they know you'll listen well.

Now let's talk confidence..


Feeling sure about yourself helps a lot when you want to influence others. This means speaking up because you believe in your ideas. It's not just what you say, though; it’s also how you say it – standing tall and making eye contact can show confidence.

People listen more when they see that you trust in your own words.

Assertiveness is not about being bossy or pushy - it's sharing your views respectfully while caring about other people's thoughts and feelings too. When folks see this balance, they tend to trust and follow your lead without feeling pushed or tricked.

Confidence shows that you mean well and care about everyone doing good together.


Understanding others' feelings matters a lot if you want to influence them in a good way. Empathy lets us connect with people's hearts, not just their minds. When you truly get where someone is coming from, they see it and often start to trust you more.

Showing empathy means really listening and caring about what others say. It helps make friends because when folks feel understood, they open up and share more. So empathise, and let your actions speak: be kind without wanting anything back.

This creates real bonds - and that’s the magic of influencing for the better!


Knowing just what to say is one thing, but saying it at the right moment can make all the difference. Good timing shows you’re tuned in and considerate of what’s happening around you.

It's about picking up on cues and choosing your moments wisely. If someone looks busy or upset, maybe hold off that chat for a bit later.

Meanwhile, grabbing an opportunity when everyone's in high spirits can really boost your chance to shine and get folks onboard with your ideas. Let's say there was a big win at work; that might be the perfect time to suggest new projects or celebrate team members.

Timing isn’t just about what feels right for you - it’s thinking about others too and acting when it'll work best for everyone involved.


Right after understanding when to speak or act, it's key to be adaptable. Being able to change your approach based on how others feel makes a big difference. Knowing what works with one person might not work with another.

So, you've got to adjust what you do and say.

Adaptable people read the room well. They get that everyone is different and needs special attention sometimes. This means they adapt their communication style for each person they talk to.

It helps avoid misunderstandings and keeps things smooth at work or in any chat really!


Being adaptable helps us adjust to situations, but self-awareness lets us understand our true feelings and thoughts about these changes. This skill is key in seeing things from other people's views and keeping control over our own actions.

People with good self-awareness can work well and feel proud of what they do.

Knowing yourself means you don't just react on the spot. You think about how your emotions drive your moves. Are they helping or hurting? By being honest with ourselves, we avoid tricks and stick to real talk.

This makes us happier at work, better in relationships, and wiser when making choices. Self-awareness isn't just nice to have – it's a must if you want to lead with heart and head.

Reading cues

Knowing yourself is the first step. But to influence others positively, you also need to understand them. This means paying attention to reading cues. Look for non-verbal signals like facial expressions and body language.

These can tell you a lot about what someone feels or thinks without them saying a word.

Pay close attention when someone talks too. Listen for the tone of their voice, pace, and volume changes. These clues help you get what they mean beyond just their words. And when you get these cues right, your conversations can be more meaningful and effective – it's a big part of influencing with care and respect.

Welcoming feedback

Recognising the cues people give is just the start; it's also vital to open up to their input. Welcoming feedback shows you're not just trying to push your own ideas. It tells others you value their opinions and want to learn from them.

This creates trust and makes your influence feel less like a trick and more like a shared journey. Good leaders know this secret. They listen, really listen, when someone has something to say about their work or behaviour.

By asking for feedback—and taking it seriously—you show strength, not weakness. You show that you're brave enough to face your own failings and smart enough to grow from them. Welcoming different points of view can make all the difference in how people see you: not as someone sneaky but as someone they want to follow because they feel heard and respected.

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Learn how to tune in to others and enable them to tune in to you

Using Emotional Intelligence to Influence

Harness the power of emotional intelligence to leave a lasting impact on those around you. It's not just about understanding your own feelings; it's about leveraging that insight to connect with others, paving the way for genuine influence without a hint of manipulation.


Working together on shared goals is key to influencing others in a good way. It's all about joining forces and helping each other succeed. When you collaborate, everyone gets involved and supports the group’s mission.

You show that you care about their views and needs, which builds trust.

To do this well, use emotional intelligence. Understand how people feel – it helps create a strong team spirit. A group with high emotional smarts works better together. They solve problems faster and understand one another's strengths and weaknesses.

This makes it easier for everyone to reach their goals without anyone feeling pushed around or tricked into something they don’t want to do.

Logic vs. emotion

Logic and emotion both play big roles in how we make choices and influence others. Logic is about clear thinking and reasoning, while emotions are deep feelings that can steer our decisions.

Sometimes we think with our heads, sometimes with our hearts. Emotions can be strong; they can even make us believe things that aren't true if they're strong enough. For example, when people are very sad or happy, it changes how smartly they might answer questions or solve problems.

To use them right when influencing others, mix logic with caring for the person's feelings. Think of a time someone shared a story that made you feel something real – maybe it was happiness or perhaps sadness – but because of that feeling, you saw their point clearly.

That's using emotion wisely without tricking anyone. But watch out! If you lean too much on emotions, there’s a chance people may get the wrong idea and trust less in what’s really true.

So balance is key: showing understanding through empathy builds trust – this makes your words more powerful than just facts alone could ever be.

Building rapport and trust

Building rapport and trust is like making a new friend. You listen, share stories, and show you understand them. It's not just about being nice; it's about really caring for the other person.

The best influencers are those who make people feel valued and understood. They use their emotional intelligence to create connections that last.

To influence without manipulating, put effort into knowing someone's likes, dislikes, hopes, and fears. That shows you're genuine—not just pretending. When people see this authenticity in you, they're more likely to trust what you say and do next.

Trust grows when others know that your good intentions match your actions – it’s all part of building that strong bondwith them.

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Assertiveness, Listening Skills and Emotional Intelligence Training

Influence Outside of Work

Stepping away from the office landscape, we discover that influence weaves its way through our personal lives. Here, it's about more than just persuading; it's about nurturing meaningful relationships that thrive on mutual respect and understanding—effortlessly echoing into every handshake or smile shared over a cuppa.

Showing genuine interest in others

Care for people and they will feel it. Ask about their day, dreams, and worries. Listen well. People can tell when you care for real.

Trust grows from caring without wanting something back. Help others reach their goals. This makes them see you're on their side. And when you're helpful and kind, folks often want to be the same with you.

Fulfilling commitments

Building on that, keeping promises shows you're trusty. People respect someone who does what they say. This builds strong bonds.

Leaders stand out by sticking to their words, both in work and life. They know this wins trust and respect. Keeping true to commitments is key for influencing others positively. It's not just about talking; actions matter most.

Doing this, leaders empower people around them without using tricks.

Empowering others

Empowering others means helping them to see their own strengths and potential. It's about making sure they feel confident to make decisions on their own. Good leaders know how to do this well.

They use different ways to guide people, depending on what the situation needs. These leaders give power to others so they can influence even when they are not in charge.

To help someone else grow stronger, it's good to understand yourself first. Learn what you're good at and how you act with other people. Also, learn new skills that make you better at bringing out the best in others.

Show them trust and teach them things that will help them stand on their own two feet. This way, everyone gets a chance to shine even brighter together!

Mind-body connection

Your mind and body work together in ways that can help you get through to people. What you think can change how your body feels. If you're happy and calm, your smile and relaxed way can make others feel good too.

It goes the other way as well - if your body is strong and healthy, you might find it easier to be kind and patient with those around you.

Focusing on this special link means you'll come across as more sincere when talking with friends or at work. By taking care of both your physical health and thoughts, you show up as a better leader or mate.

People sense this balance in you – it makes them trust and listen to what you say without feeling pushed or tricked.

Applying Influence to Leadership

Leaders use their influence to guide and inspire their teams. They share visions and get everyone moving in the same direction. Good leaders don't push or trick people into doing things.

Instead, they build trust and show how goals can benefit everyone.

They listen, understand, and respect each person's views. This way, they create a strong group where members feel valued. Next up is "How to Win Friends and Influence People," which offers tips for anyone looking to grow their influence further.

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Learn to get taken more seriously

How to Win Friends and Influence People

In Dale Carnegie's timeless wisdom, where simple yet profound tactics pave the way for impactful communication. Our training offered a similar treasure trove for anyone looking to engage authentically, without a whiff of manipulation.

Drawing from real-life scenarios, we help tease out strategies that resonate deeply with our intrinsic need for respect and connection.

Tips from Dale Carnegie's influential book that we also teach

We teach ways to influence others with kindness. By avoiding judgement or condemning we can get much further in winning friends and influencing people.

When you praise someone honestly, they feel good and might want to listen to what you say.

Knowing a person's name is powerful - it shows respect and attention. Take the time to learn names; it makes conversations warmer and more personal. Show real interest in others; ask about their lives, thoughts, and feelings.

This helps build trust without any tricks or manipulation. Remember - building real friendships takes honesty and care for each other's best interests.

Leveraging Coaching for Influence

Harness the power of coaching to sharpen your influence skills—the right mentor can turn your innate talents into persuasive prowess, guiding you on how to impact others effectively and ethically..

It's about evolving, not just executing a set strategy; let's navigate this transformative journey together.

Identifying and developing natural influencing skills

Everyone has their way of swaying others. Some folks spot what's not being said in a chat, or they're great at making people feel heard. These are your natural influencing skills. To grow them, you need to watch yourself closely.

Learn from what works and doesn't when you talk to friends or workmates.

Coaching can help pull out these talents too. A good coach spots your strong points and shows ways to use them more often—like practicing listening so people feel you get them or staying calm when things heat up.

Use that feedback; it's gold for getting better at influencing without any sneaky tricks.

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Learn how to be soft on the person yet tough on the issue


Influencing others is about connecting, not controlling. Keep your aims honest and listen well. Show care and understanding for their views. Adapt to each situation with a warm heart.

That's the way to inspire without tricks or pressure.

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How aware are you of your effect on others?

Influencing Without Being Manipulative FAQs

1. What does it mean to influence others without being manipulative?

It means you guide people in a way that is honest and fair, not tricking them or using their weaknesses.

2. Can I find common ground with someone to influence them better?

Yes, when you share interests or concerns with someone, it's easier to motivate and connect with them on personal matters.

3. How important is staying true to myself when influencing others?

Staying true to yourself—you need to be an authentic person—makes people trust and believe in your words more strongly.

4. Do my actions affect how I can influence my relationship with others?

Absolutely! Your behaviour - how consistent it is - and the example you set matter a lot because they show your character.

5. Why should I avoid seeking attention if I want to influence people?

If you seek too much attention, people might think you're not genuinely asking for support; instead focus on what matters—the message or idea you want to spread.

6. Will understanding other's motivations help me influence them without manipulation?

Sure thing! Knowing why something is important for another person helps tailor your approach so both of you feel good about the outcome.

7. What are some characteristics that define an authentic influencer, and how can one genuinely influence others without resorting to manipulative tactics?

An authentic influencer is someone who prioritises their own best interests while considering the well-being of others. To genuinely influence others without being manipulative, one should focus on building trust, providing value, and being transparent in their intentions. This approach, based on personal stability and true authenticity, allows for positive influence without harming others or causing discomfort.

8. Can you provide examples of how to achieve personal stability while seeking to influence others positively, especially in professional settings?

Achieving personal stability while influencing others in professional settings involves recognising and valuing your own needs and interests. This means avoiding manipulative behaviour and instead, adopting a consistent pattern of behavior based on authenticity. For example, by actively listening to others, empathising with their perspectives, and aligning your goals with theirs, you can influence positively without resorting to manipulation.

9. What is the most important thing to remember when trying to influence someone's behaviour or decisions, and how can one navigate the fine line between genuine influence and manipulation in relationships?

The most important thing to remember when trying to influence someone's behaviour or decisions is to respect their autonomy and personal boundaries. To navigate the fine line between genuine influence and manipulation in relationships, it's essential to communicate openly, provide information honestly, and allow individuals to make informed choices. Prioritizing the other person's comfort and well-being, rather than seeking attention or personal gain, is the key to building positive and lasting influence without being manipulative.

10. How can I influence others positively without resorting to manipulative tactics, given my past mistakes in this area and the need to stay true to my own skin?

Influencing others authentically and without manipulation requires self-awareness and a commitment to staying true to your own character. Acknowledging past mistakes is a crucial step in this process. To avoid causing a person's discomfort, focus on nurturing genuine relationships and embodying characteristics that define you as an authentic woman. It's important to seek attention for the right reasons, emphasising your consistent pattern of behaviour that aligns with your values and social norms. By identifying your personal ones and online ones, you can navigate the world of influence more responsibly and set positive examples, especially for kids who look up to you. Remember, influencing others should be a supportive and ethical endeavour, where you build relationships based on trust and respect.

11. How can I maintain a healthy influence on people in both personal and professional relationships, without making them afraid or compromising their comfort, given the complexities of the modern world and the ever-evolving social norms?

Maintaining a positive influence on people requires adaptability and an awareness of the evolving world and social norms. It's crucial to learn from past mistakes to avoid causing discomfort or fear in others. To influence effectively, be consistent in your character and actions, both online and offline, as people tend to follow those who exhibit a consistent pattern of behaviour. In a world where attention-seeking behaviours are prevalent, focus on authentic and ethical ways to seek attention that align with your values. Be aware of the impact of your influence, especially when it comes to kids, as they are highly impressionable. In the process, ensure that your influence contributes positively to the company you keep and to the world as a whole, creating a more supportive and harmonious environment for everyone.

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Now by involving people he takes them with him

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The first session is free so you're not committing yourself until you're sure this training is relevant for you. You will also learn something practical you can use right away that'll help you handle a difficult situation more successfully at work.

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