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  • Are your conversations achieving what you want?
    Are your conversations achieving what you want?
  • Does your feedback help people change?
    Does your feedback help people change?
  • How are you coming across to your boss?
    How are you coming across to your boss?
  • Are you getting the best out of your people?
    Are you getting the best out of your people?
  • Can you allow discussion and still keep control?
    Can you allow discussion and still keep control?
  • Do you frequently get into arguments?
    Do you frequently get into arguments?

Might your need to improve your negotiating skills
be met by this London based management training course
called Skills with People?

Yes if the following is true 

  • You're tired of negotiations being a power struggle in which one side wins and the other loses.
  • You'd prefer a less manipulative and more collaborative approach where you're trying to find win-win agreements in the interests of both parties.
  • For this you might need a more balanced set of negotiating skills, so that you can pay as much attention to the interests of others as you do to  your own.

What you'll take away from this course in negotiating skills

This negotiating skills course will enable you to master two crucial skills that'll transform your approach to negotiation from win-lose to win-win. The two skills are assertiveness and empathy. A combination of these two skills will enable you to create an atmosphere of mutual respect, understanding, trust and open-mindedness, instead of fear and defensiveness. This'll make you more successful at reaching win-win agreements when you have a disagreement, dispute or conflict with someone. 

Free exploratory coaching session

INTERESTED?

If so, you can have a FREE exploratory coaching session. It'll give you a foretaste of what you can get from the course. You make no commitment to proceed beyond this until you're sure this training is relevant to your own particular need.

How to accept this offer

Simply contact us for a preliminary chat and to arrange your free exploratory coaching session. 

What this session will do for you

In this session we'll aim to give you something practical you can use right away that'll help you handle a difficult situation more successfully at work. All you need do to prepare for this session is think about the kinds of situations you want to be able to handle more successfully.

FAQs

You'll find answers to many of your questions about the content and method of this course under FAQs (in the main menu above).

How the skills you'll practice on this course
will make you a more successful negotiator

What do empathy and assertiveness bring to the art of negotiation?

They make possible a win-win instead of a win-lose outcome, provided you can agree on:-

  • a common objective
  • not accepting any outcome that fails to satisfy both sides. 

Obtaining these two conditions may not be easy, because we often start negotiating not with a shared aim, nor with the intention to take care if one-another’s interests as well as our own, but with the aim of maximising our own advantage. The idea of being equally concerned about the satisfaction of both sides does not occur to us. But it makes a big difference not only to the outcome but also to the spirit in which the negotiation is conducted. Without it we inevitably see and treat one-another as enemies, with fear of being taken advantage of as the underlying motive. But with it, feeling safe we'll not be taken advantage of, we can treat one-another as friends, and that opens up a wider range of possible outcomes.  Here's the spirit of it:-

  • Instead of trying to gain an advantage over one-another let’s try another way. Let’s agree at the outset not to accept any outcome unless it satisfies us both. In other words, let’s agree to take care of one-another’s interests as much as our own. Then we can feel safe enough to look for a solution that satisfies us both.

Below is a suggested procedure for having this conversation. On the Skills with People course we'll help you develop the skills you need to be confident you can follow this procedure successfully:-

Steps for negotiating a win-win agreement

Step 1

  • It's crucial to agree (a) a common objective and (b) not to accept any outcome unless it satisfies both sides. Without this agreement you cannot achieve a win-win outcome. But if this proves difficult why not explore the fears that are preventing the other side from agreeing to these conditions?

Step 2

  • Say, “You go first. Please say honestly what you need out of this negotiation, and why you need it. My purpose to start with is simply to satisfy you that I fully understand what you need and why you need it”. Take enough time to achieve this purpose. Don’t argue – just listen with empathy in order to make them feel understood and respected.

Step 3

  • Say, “Now it’s my turn. I am not asking you to agree with me – just to satisfy me that you hear and understand what I need and why I need it”. Say frankly what you need and why you need it. Be specific and clear about where the outcome they need satisfies you and where it does not. Remind them if necessary that you are not asking them to agree, just to hear and understand. Don't move on to step 4 until you both feel fully understood.

Step 4

  • Say, “It's clear that we have some common ground, but also that there is a gap to be bridged before we can agree. Let’s now proceed on a quid-pro-quo basis in order to see whether we can close the gap. In other words, I’ll concede you this, if you’ll concede me that. Let’s both take care that neither of us feels we are being taken advantage of.”

Is there more information on this website
relevant to negotiating skills?

Yes. You might also find our pages on influencing and persuasion and emotional intelligence relevant and helpful.

We love helping you communicate successfully

By giving you communication skills that'll transform even your most challenging relationships and interactions.

That's the purpose of Skills with People, our training course for managers and professional people at all levels. Thousands have benefited from this course.

Video Introduction

What People Have Said About The Course

Learning & Development Coordinator - The Entertainer

I can't recommend this course enough. It has genuinely been the most impactful course I have ever completed. Understanding that I can be assertive w ...

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Feedback from participant's boss - a Johnson & Johnson finance director

He has made excellent progress in the management of his team. He has ensured key stakeholders are involved in decision-making and has gone to great le ...

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Sports Centre Manager

I feel that my relationship with other attendees has improved massively following the session. I'd say 9/10 for what I've got from the course as I sa ...

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Feedback from participant's boss - a Johnson Matthey Catalysts (Germany) senior manager

There has been a noticeable improvement in the performance of this customer service engineer. He is much more succinct now than he was before. He was ...

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Theatre Manager

Managing to confront them but still maintain their cooperation and support. Previously I was either not confronting or confronting and ending up with ...

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Fundraising Officer, United Nations High Commission for Refugees (UNHCR)

A very intimate training which will make anyone reflect on how best to engage with colleagues when confronted with difficult situations.

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Senior Engineer, Qualcomm

An unbelievable experience, highly motivating training and one of the few which stays forever in your mind. A tangible impact to your life and workin ...

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Feedback from participant's boss - a Johnson & Johnson marketing director

She has become increasingly aware and focussed on ensuring she is gaining cooperation from colleagues by the way she approaches situations. E.g., Meet ...

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Feedback from participant's boss - head of projects in Heinz

He now gains support through his willingness to involve people more and take them with him.

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Feedback from participant's boss - Chairman of White Clarke Group

He has greatly improved his ability to manage a situation. He listens more and uses that information to convince. A good example is the .... group, wh ...

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Leisure Centre Manager

The most useful part of the course was learning how to convey my disappointment with a member of staff without demotivating them, without making them ...

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Feedback from participant's boss - a Kimberley-Clark marketing director

He is now aware of his need to control his direct approach. He was sometimes too assertive. I think he is now well balanced in this respect.

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Senior Resource Consultant, Shell International

“Skills with People” has helped me deal with conflict situations.  It has helped me to diffuse tension in meetings and convert pushback into alignment ...

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Feedback from a participant's boss - a Glaxo SmithKline research director

He has made good progress in two areas: 1. team leadership - he listens with empathy to others well and considers their standpoint as well as his own. ...

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National Training Index* report on the course

"From delegates reports we have identified Skills with People is a 'highspot' among UK business courses. Delegates mentioned as most helpful the enha ...

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EHS advisor (environmental health and safety), Johnson Matthey

This is the best non-techincal course the company has ever put me on because it's the most useful. 

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Project Quality Engineer (self funding)

A lesson for life! The power of effective communication is incredible when one masters the skills "listen with empathy" / "speak assertively". Defin ...

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Feedback from a participant's boss - a Merck Sharp & Dohme medical director

She feels more confident in tackling people and has been impressed with her new found techniques, e.g., in dealing with members of the marketing depar ...

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Feedback from participant's boss - an HSBC investment director

I have had three unprompted comments from different team members and colleagues who have been surprised at the consideration he has shown in helping s ...

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Feedback from a participant's boss - a Shell International senior manager

He is showing far more self-awareness and more restraint in potentially confrontational situations. He is far more aware of the impact his actions and ...

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Thank you from a participant

I wanted to let you know that I have secured a new role.  I had to go through an assessment centre and one challenge was to negotiate with a 'belliger ...

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Workshop Manager, Professional Plant Services

I now find it easier to have awkward conversations. (As a result of how he has changed several more people from his company are asking to attend the c ...

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The wife of a participant

"Just thinking about last night’s conversation and it’s bringing tears to my eyes – it’s what I’ve always wanted: to be able to talk with you like tha ...

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Feedback from participant's boss - a Prudential director

He is a lot more confident. At the last meeting of our business unit leaders he fully led the meeting and dealt with people very well.

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Feedback from a participant's boss - a WS Atkins director

Now he actively listens, probes, asks for clarifications and does not assume anymore he knows the answer.

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Feedback from participant's boss - a Billiton director

He's obviously making a positive effort and it does show. People used to be scared of him. No longer.

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Golf Club Manager

Ten out of ten for the course for me personally. I think I would have resigned if it hadn't been for the course.

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Feedback from participant's boss - A Philips Semiconductors director

To what extend do I think his training need has been satisfied? Completely. I have been approached by 4 peers to tell me that they could see a very po ...

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Examples of Training Needs Met

Very diligent but hated dealing with difficult people Read More...
Very logical but not creating enough rapport Read More...
Not delegating or developing others Read More...
Difficulty communicating with non-technical people Read More...
Preparing for a more challenging role Read More...
Forceful communicator who created friction Read More...
Flying high but creating a tense atmosphere Read More...
Allowed his meetings to get out of hand Read More...
Being more assertive would help career go better Read More...
Lots of energy and ideas but little attention for his clients Read More...
Technically very sound but lacking persuasive skills Read More...
Enormous enthusiasm but little sensitivity Read More...
Had a positive attitude but gave a negative impression Read More...
Well intentioned but demoralising his team Read More...
Respected specialist who was too quiet at meetings Read More...

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