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  • Can you allow discussion and still keep control?
    Can you allow discussion and still keep control?
  • How are you coming across to your boss?
    How are you coming across to your boss?
  • Do you frequently get into arguments?
    Do you frequently get into arguments?
  • Are you getting the best out of your people?
    Are you getting the best out of your people?
  • Does your feedback help people change?
    Does your feedback help people change?
  • Are your conversations achieving what you want?
    Are your conversations achieving what you want?

Might your need to be more successful at avoiding getting into arguments at work 
be met by this London UK based management training course 
called Skills with People?

Yes, if;-

  • You seem to be having a lot of arguments at work.
  • Getting into arguments at work is stopping you from achieving your objectives.
  • You’d like to be more skilled at handling disagreements with other people in order to stop getting into arguments at work so frequently.
  • Your job is about getting things done, and when people object you feel obliged to persist, but that sometimes means getting into arguments with your colleagues which creates tension.
  • You are in a role that means you have to get involved with other people are getting into arguments at work, but you aren’t confident about how to do it successfully.

What you’ll take away from this training course on how to avoid getting into arguments at work.

We’ll offer you the tools to avoid getting into arguments at work without needing to compromise your integrity.  You’ll be able to say exactly what’s on your mind, but also deal more successfully with the other person and in the process improve your relationships at work.  You’ll be more equipped to broach sensitive issues and create an atmosphere of mutual respect and understanding from which dealing with arguments at work is much easier to handle.

An example of how to stop getting into arguments at work.

Here is a typical example of a client came to us for training because they wanted to stop getting into arguments at work.  It may help you identify a training need of your own, or remind you or someone else who might benefit.

The problem (a typical example of someone who keeps getting into arguments at work)

A marketing manager with lots of good ideas and enthusiasm but a tendency to get into arguments. She would argue her case and then get impatient if people didn’t see reason.  She was becoming very frustrated with her colleagues because they almost always seemed to resist her ideas, which meant that her actual contribution to the business fell far short of her potential contribution.  Others perceived her as arrogant and argumentative, which made the problem worse because it meant people tended to be unwilling to co-operate with her because she was prone to conflict.  Her director was concerned both about her effect on others, and also about her own reaction.  He didn’t want to lose her but he was worried that she was becoming so discouraged by getting into so many arguments at work, that she might be looking for another job.  He tried to suggest she try to be a little less forceful in making her points, but she didn’t seem very receptive to the suggestion as a way of dealing with the issue. 

The diagnosis (why the marketing manager was getting into arguments at work so often)

She was a clear thinker and always lucid when making her points.  Whenever someone argued with her, and resisted a point she would calmly and politely reason with them.  Her conversations where typically punctuated with the words, “Yes, but …”, or, “I hear what you say, however …”.  If the arguing and resistance continued her frustration would increase and her calmness and politeness would decrease.  She was passionate about her ideas – they were usually very good ones - and so she was deeply disappointed when she failed to get others to go along with them. But since one of her strengths was that she was a persistent and determined person, her conversations would often degenerate into quite bitter arguments with her colleagues at work.

The mental obstacles to change (why stopping getting into arguments at work can be challenging)

There were two underlying mental obstacles to change, and both would have to be overcome if the change was to be genuine and lasting.  The first was that although she had never thought consciously about it, her strongly held underlying assumption was that persuasion works by reasoning with people – giving them facts and logic.  If they resist, they need more facts and logic -  hence the “Yes, but” style of conversation.  The result was that when she was in disagreement with someone she was arguing with she never seemed to be aware of their concerns, and this, unsurprisingly, tended to put them on the defensive.  Actually, she was aware of other people’s concerns.  It is just that she didn’t seem to be because she never acknowledged them when she was getting into arguments at work.  All she ever did was argue her own case.  The second mental obstacle was that she was always in a hurry to get people to agree with her, which meant that she did not allow herself time to show that she was taking other people’s concerns seriously.  In a nut-shell, she did too much talking and not enough listening, when trying to persuade. Hence, she found herself frequently getting into unpleasant arguments at work.

The remedy (how to stop getting into arguments at work)

She first needed to be made aware that her habitual method of persuasion, i.e., reasoning with facts and logic, was causing her a serious problem, because it showed no appreciation of other people’s concerns.  She had to be made aware that it is natural for people to become defensive and unreceptive if they do not feel their concerns are being taken seriously when she was getting into arguments with them at work.  At first she resisted this idea, but finally accepted it when she saw it for herself on a video recording of one of her own conversations.  Then she needed to be shown, with coaching and practice, how to slow down and listen with empathy to other people’s when they resist an idea.  In this way she learned to be much more balanced in her conversations between putting forward her own ideas, and listening with understanding and respect to other people’s issues.  And what she learned she was able to retain, and it transformed her relationships at work. Quite quickly complaints about her arrogance, as well as other people’s resistance to her, evaporated, and she was able to stop herself getting into arguments at work.

Free exploratory coaching session

INTERESTED?

If so, you can have a FREE exploratory coaching session. It'll give you a foretaste of what you can get from the course. You make no commitment to proceed beyond this until you're sure this training is relevant to your own particular need.

How to accept this offer

Simply contact us for a preliminary chat and to arrange your free exploratory coaching session. 

What this session will do for you

In this session we'll aim to give you something practical you can use right away that'll help you handle a difficult situation more successfully at work. All you need do to prepare for this session is think about the kinds of situations you want to be able to handle more successfully.

FAQs

You'll find answers to many of your questions about the content and method of this course under FAQs (in the main menu above).

We love helping you communicate successfully

By giving you communication skills that'll transform even your most challenging relationships and interactions.

That's the purpose of Skills with People, our training course for managers and professional people at all levels. Thousands have benefited from this course.

What People Have Said About The Course

Feedback from participant's boss - a Billiton director

He's obviously making a positive effort and it does show. People used to be scared of him. No longer.

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Feedback from participant's boss - A Philips Semiconductors director

To what extend do I think his training need has been satisfied? Completely. I have been approached by 4 peers to tell me that they could see a very po ...

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Senior Engineer, Qualcomm

An unbelievable experience, highly motivating training and one of the few which stays forever in your mind. A tangible impact to your life and workin ...

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Feedback from participant's boss - a Johnson & Johnson marketing director

She has become increasingly aware and focussed on ensuring she is gaining cooperation from colleagues by the way she approaches situations. E.g., Meet ...

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Workshop Manager, Professional Plant Services

I now find it easier to have awkward conversations. (As a result of how he has changed several more people from his company are asking to attend the c ...

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Project Quality Engineer (self funding)

A lesson for life! The power of effective communication is incredible when one masters the skills "listen with empathy" / "speak assertively". Defin ...

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Senior Resource Consultant, Shell International

“Skills with People” has helped me deal with conflict situations.  It has helped me to diffuse tension in meetings and convert pushback into alignment ...

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The wife of a participant

"Just thinking about last night’s conversation and it’s bringing tears to my eyes – it’s what I’ve always wanted: to be able to talk with you like tha ...

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Theatre Manager

Managing to confront them but still maintain their cooperation and support. Previously I was either not confronting or confronting and ending up with ...

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Golf Club Manager

Ten out of ten for the course for me personally. I think I would have resigned if it hadn't been for the course.

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Feedback from participant's boss - a Johnson & Johnson finance director

He has made excellent progress in the management of his team. He has ensured key stakeholders are involved in decision-making and has gone to great le ...

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Feedback from participant's boss - an HSBC investment director

I have had three unprompted comments from different team members and colleagues who have been surprised at the consideration he has shown in helping s ...

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Feedback from participant's boss - head of projects in Heinz

He now gains support through his willingness to involve people more and take them with him.

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Feedback from a participant's boss - a Merck Sharp & Dohme medical director

She feels more confident in tackling people and has been impressed with her new found techniques, e.g., in dealing with members of the marketing depar ...

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Feedback from a participant's boss - a Shell International senior manager

He is showing far more self-awareness and more restraint in potentially confrontational situations. He is far more aware of the impact his actions and ...

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Thank you from a participant

I wanted to let you know that I have secured a new role.  I had to go through an assessment centre and one challenge was to negotiate with a 'belliger ...

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Feedback from participant's boss - Chairman of White Clarke Group

He has greatly improved his ability to manage a situation. He listens more and uses that information to convince. A good example is the .... group, wh ...

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Fundraising Officer, United Nations High Commission for Refugees (UNHCR)

A very intimate training which will make anyone reflect on how best to engage with colleagues when confronted with difficult situations.

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Feedback from a participant's boss - a WS Atkins director

Now he actively listens, probes, asks for clarifications and does not assume anymore he knows the answer.

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Feedback from a participant's boss - a Glaxo SmithKline research director

He has made good progress in two areas: 1. team leadership - he listens with empathy to others well and considers their standpoint as well as his own. ...

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Feedback from participant's boss - a Johnson Matthey Catalysts (Germany) senior manager

There has been a noticeable improvement in the performance of this customer service engineer. He is much more succinct now than he was before. He was ...

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Sports Centre Manager

I feel that my relationship with other attendees has improved massively following the session. I'd say 9/10 for what I've got from the course as I sa ...

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Feedback from participant's boss - a Kimberley-Clark marketing director

He is now aware of his need to control his direct approach. He was sometimes too assertive. I think he is now well balanced in this respect.

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Learning & Development Coordinator - The Entertainer

I can't recommend this course enough. It has genuinely been the most impactful course I have ever completed. Understanding that I can be assertive w ...

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National Training Index* report on the course

"From delegates reports we have identified Skills with People is a 'highspot' among UK business courses. Delegates mentioned as most helpful the enha ...

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Feedback from participant's boss - a Prudential director

He is a lot more confident. At the last meeting of our business unit leaders he fully led the meeting and dealt with people very well.

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EHS advisor (environmental health and safety), Johnson Matthey

This is the best non-techincal course the company has ever put me on because it's the most useful. 

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Leisure Centre Manager

The most useful part of the course was learning how to convey my disappointment with a member of staff without demotivating them, without making them ...

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Examples of Training Needs Met

Allowed his meetings to get out of hand Read More...
Not delegating or developing others Read More...
Well intentioned but demoralising his team Read More...
Lots of energy and ideas but little attention for his clients Read More...
Forceful communicator who created friction Read More...
Enormous enthusiasm but little sensitivity Read More...
Respected specialist who was too quiet at meetings Read More...
Had a positive attitude but gave a negative impression Read More...
Preparing for a more challenging role Read More...
Being more assertive would help career go better Read More...
Difficulty communicating with non-technical people Read More...
Flying high but creating a tense atmosphere Read More...
Very logical but not creating enough rapport Read More...
Technically very sound but lacking persuasive skills Read More...
Very diligent but hated dealing with difficult people Read More...

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