Uncomfortable Conversations
How To Have Confident and Productive Disagreements with Anyone At Work
Develop Your Skills
Learn safe methods to comfortably challenge assumptions and colleagues in difficult work conversations.
Building Relationships
Deepen connections and understanding by addressing sensitive topics and resolving conflicts with others.
Overcoming Anxiety
Embrace uncomfortable conversations by overcoming fear of confrontation, and enhancing your communication skills.Refine your communication skills by learning to harness your emotional intelligence with one of the UK's most acclaimed management training courses.
Why Choose This Training?
More Than Just A Course Of Lectures
What gets in the way of developing and holding on to new communication skills are old habits of thinking and speaking. Even if the advice is very good the reason why it rarely sticks are the mental habits people inevitably revert to, especially under pressure.
Unlearning those old habits and internalising a more effective and lasting approach to communication needs more than a short course of lectures on how to do it.
What Makes This Training Stand Out?
What makes this training stand out is the exceptional support through one-to-one coaching sessions and continuous feedback. Changing behaviour is not an easy task as old habits are hard to break.
With a 40-year track record we can help you cultivate practical skills, and build your confidence to so you can successfully navigate real-world challenges, ensuring lasting behavioural improvements.
Testimonials
Join thousands of participants getting results
"What I love about this course is that I didn't just learn about the topic, this course is about ME. I'm confident I can reliably use my new skills, even when under pressure".
"A lesson for life! The power of effective communication is incredible when one masters the skills "listening with empathy" and "speaking assertively"
Clients We Have Worked With
Well-known companies who have used this course again and again, over many years
Course Summary
Training Objectives
This communication skills training course is designed to help develop your confidence in tackling uncomfortable conversations at work. Difficult conversations can have a lasting impact on how we relate to each other and engage with the world. This training course is geared for managers and professionals who want to learn how to have more successful communcation with colleagues, clients, customers and senior managers.
You'll learn healthy communication techniques for communicating effectively when faced with uncomfortable conversations, from addressing problematic behaviour, discussing sensitive topics, or simply learning how to be more assertive in difficult situations, understanding how to have an uncomfortable conversation in your everyday interactions in your workplace.
Learning how to master difficult conversations is a key skill for fostering strong relationships and professional growth. On this course you'll learn how to resolve conflicts and address issues that need to be discussed, but most people are univerally uncomfortable about confronting.
You'll learn how to approach uncomfortable conversations by prioritise listening with empathy while reflecting on the other person's perspective, before providing honest feedback about your own difficult views. When dealing with sensitive topics you'll practice how to approach other people with understanding and open-mindedness, so you can start productive dialogues. By acknowledging other people's emotion, as well as your own, you'll learn how to utilising emotional intelligence when tackling difficult conversations. This can be done in advance, and can help you prepare for your conversations beforehand, so you are more prepared to mitigate tensions that may arise. By planning ahead before tackling sensitive subjects, and using the strategies we'll teach you on this course for skillfully handling uncomfortable conversations, as well as mitigating any negative tension that exists you'll ne able to become an extrodinarily powerful communicator, and in fact someone with whom it can become impossible to argue.
Having uncomfortable conversations can be daunting, but they are essential to building strong relationships.
Emotional Intelligence
You will learn a set of powerful emotional intelligence communication techniques so that you can manage difficult conversations, handle challenging situations, build relationships and set firm boundaries.
Transferable Skills
The goal of this training is to equip you with the tools they need to build strong, lasting relationships in your professional life, although because these skills are so transferable many clients report vast improvements in their personal relationships as well.
Develop Skills
This is a skills development rather than just a theoretical programme, so the emphasis throughout will be on you taking turn after turn, practising your skills, while receiving feedback and coaching about your effect on others.
Repeated Practice and Feedback
In your coaching sessions you will be helped to practise dealing with the kinds of situation you find challenging, again and again, until you are confident you can do it successfully.
Video Analysis
We'll combine practical, hands-on experience with video replay and analysis and discussion of the principles involved to help you gain both skills and understanding. Special attention is paid to your individual training needs, so you can practise your skills in real-life situations that you have to handle at work.
Sustained Change
That's why as well as your place in a small group, this training includes a generous amount of private and confidential one-to-one coaching sessions online, spread over several months, ensuring an exceptional level of support. This will ensure the changes you make are sustained over a longer period of time and any obstacles are overcome. Choose between online training available worldwide, or in-person face-to-face courses in the UK.
Course Dates and Price
For a list of upcoming course dates (for online coaching and face-to-face training), the locations of the next 3-day public courses in the UK and pricing Click here.
Free Initial Session
This initial coaching session serves as an introduction to the "Skills with People" course, allowing you to understand the course's relevance and effectiveness for your specific needs before committing to it.
The Importance Of Not Avoiding Uncomfortable Conversations At Work
Having uncomfortable conversations can strengthen our relationships, foster growth and learning, resolve conflicts, and help us address systemic issues at work.
Building Stronger Relationships
Having uncomfortable conversations can actually lead to strengthening relationships, rather than weakening them. When you are able to address issues or conflicts by having a dialogue instead of avoiding difficult conversations it allows for honest communication that can lead to deeper connections and understanding between people.
When we are vulnerable in our conversations, especially when discussing conflict topics, it helps us learn how to create trust with one another which will strengthen the relationship overall.
For example, people who discusses their feelings openly and are willing to both share and understand each other’s perspectives may find that their relationship deepens over time. Your willingness to be vulnerable in your communication frequently pays off with better quality connections.
Fostering Growth And Learning
Although having uncomfortable conversations can be difficult, they are necessary for personal and professional growth. Challenging conversations give us the chance to push ourselves out of our comfort zone, reframe our view of situations, challenge assumptions and biases we didn’t even know we had, and enhance our understanding of the other person's point of view.
As well as improving communication skills, embracing challenging conversations also enhances problem-solving capabilities by giving an opportunity to uncover solutions quickly and effectively.
Conflict avoidance tends to worsen conflicts more over time. The build up of anger or hurt feelings eventually leads to blowups if not addressed promptly.
If you can learn to listen with empathy during a conversation rather tough talk rather than waiting until it becomes too late, then you’ll have a chance to resolve issues before they spirals out of control. If you don’t, then you run the risk of emotional exhaustion or wasted time in pursuing the wrong goals instead of pursuing closer relations. If you can learn to become more comfortable exploring different perspectives, by talking, the chances are you’ll be much happier in the long run.
Resolving Conflicts
When conflicts arise, it can be extremely challenging to navigate. Properly managing and resolving them is key to building stronger relationship dynamics. A conflict resolution approach requires approaching conversations with both curiosity and respect. This attitude allows for better understanding both sides of the conflict.
Through open communication channels, each person can have an opportunity to explain their point of view without judgment or expectations while also being aware of the other person's perspective and interests.
This the right approach is easy to say, but difficult to do. The challenging thing about it is how to listen actively during these difficult conversations without making judgements about what the other person is saying. Effective listening strategies involve reflecting back on what the other person has said, asking relevant questions that demonstrate your interest, and using empathy to “guess” what emotions the other person is feeling but may not have expressed.
Training employees in effective conflict resolution skills can make a significant difference when disagreements inevitably occur. This is because when people are more equipped with appropriate techniques such as self awareness, emotional intelligence, empathy, assertiveness etc, it allows them to be more effective at working towards collaborative solutions where both sides walk away feeling heard, understood and respected.
Addressing Systemic Issues
Addressing systemic issues, such as racism or sexism, often requires uncomfortable conversations. It is important to acknowledge that some people may struggle more with these topics and it is important to make sure everyone is equally heard in this conversation.
To best facilitate an uncomfortable conversation around systemic issues, start by focusing on why the conversation is taking place. Highlight the importance of listening with empathy and actively trying to understand different perspectives at play.
When discussing sensitive topics like race and gender it's essential to avoid assumptions based on stereotypes, instead focus on identifying actual structural disadvantages faced by certain communities and how they can be addressed.
Acknowledge your own privilege when necessary, but try not to let guilt become a barrier for taking action towards making improvements.
When approaching these conversations even if out of good intentions, emotions can get heated quickly because of the existing power dynamics between participants, especially when dealing with ethnicity, gender or religion.
Try addressing power imbalances by inviting those affected into the dialogue and bringing in their point of view along yours while highlighting where solutions overlap instead of competing against each other from conflict stances.
Use emotional intelligence tactics such as being honest about your emotions while also validating the perspective of others allowing compromise solutions which emphasise commonly agreed upon outcomes.
Types Of Uncomfortable Conversations And Difficult Conversations
Whether it is addressing problematic behaviour, delivering feedback, or discussing sensitive topics, there are various types of uncomfortable conversations that require different approaches.
Addressing Problematic Behaviour
When it comes to having difficult conversations, one of the most uncomfortable and sensitive topics (for both the giver and the receiver) is addressing problematic behaviour. Whether the conversation centres around minor missteps or concerning patterns of behaviour, there can be a range of emotions between those involved, from confusion to anger and defensiveness.
It is imperative during this type of conversation that each person acknowledges their feelings, and focuses on addressing the situation with honesty.
Being able to be assertive rather than passive will help when bringing up issues that need resolving. Being specific about expectations while showing understanding toward any resistance can also help keep the conversation productive.
Should reaction become aggressive or defensive it’s important to empathise with the other person’s emotion. For example, it could be helpful to say “You must be surprised to hear this!”, or “I imagine this has come as a bit of a shock!”. Remain curious as to why the other person has reacted in such a way which can allow you insight into possible underlying motivations.
Sharing Difficult News Or Feedback
It can be difficult to share unpleasant news with someone, especially if you anticipate a negative reaction. However, but providing honest and direct feedback in an assertive, empathetic and compassionate way is essential for healthy relationships.
It’s extremely powerful focus on feelings when delivering difficult news or feedback, and to try to get your point across in as little words as possible, while staying clear and direct in the message that you are trying to convey. For example, “I’m really pleased about this …, however, I’m really worried and upset about this other thing …”
It can also be very helpful to have pauses in the conversation as it can allow people time reflect on what has already been discussed.
Discussing Sensitive Topics Like Race, Religion, Or Politics
Having difficult conversations about sensitive topics can be challenging. When discussions of race, religion, or politics arise, it is important to approach them with respect and open-mindedness so that both sides of the conversation can be heard and understood without judgement.
Active listening is a key part of having a meaningful discussion on these matters. Hearing what the other person has to say allows for more open conversation as each person attempts to understand one another’s perspective by asking questions and showing empathy.
Validating emotions expressed by either side gives each person an opportunity to feel heard and respected while they discuss their opinion.
When speaking about such topics it is beneficial to find commonality between interested parties instead of dwelling in differences. Shared experiences provide potential pathways towards understanding and compromise that don’t rely solely on surface level concepts like skin colour or religious beliefs but rather emphasise similarities at a deeper level such as values or interests.
Addressing Power Imbalances
When discussing or resolving difficult situations, addressing power imbalances is a crucial part of any conversation. Power imbalances can be both conscious and unconscious and include differences in authority, age, gender or status that make the frame of conversations uneven between participants.
Identifying these tendencies ahead of time by preparing for difficult conversations is extremely helpful to avoid miscommunication down the line. Know what you want out of the conversation beforehand so you’re able to predict the other person’s reaction and have your empathy at the ready, as well as having rehearsed your assertiveness, can help. This will put everyone at ease while still making sure important concerns are addressed fully.
It’s also important that each person involved knows they’ll be heard. Creating a safe space with clear ground rules, like not interrupting whoever is speaking, can help everyone feel comfortable enough to speak openly about complex topics without feeling overwhelmed or afraid of judgement or retribution.
It's worth noting that difficulty in having uncomfortable conversations where there may be power disparities is often heightened due its secretive aspects. Much depends on how good most people are at having honest conversations. It can be pretty challenging to mast, and many people need help learning how to successfully navigate these types of difficult discussions.
All too often narrow perspective which could derail conversations. On our training course we specialise in helping managers and professionals practice these kinds of difficult scenarios. Through practice and role-play we can help you navigate otherwise challenging interactions. When you might otherwise feel daunting you have become entangled because of the highly stressful situation, or blind passion might make you say something you may later regret, we can help you come to a more peaceful exchange, where you can develop your leadership skills by learning how to communicate more effectively.
Preparing For A Difficult Conversation Or An Uncomfortable Conversation
Preparing for a difficult conversation or an uncomfortable conversation requires taking into account the situation, understanding your own intentions and goals, and considering the tone and language to use.
Clarify Your Intentions And Goals
It is important to have a clear understanding of your intentions and goals before engaging in an uncomfortable conversation. Not only does it help set the right tone for the conversation, but also helps avoid misunderstandings and conflicts.
Clarifying expectations before having difficult conversations make sure that everyone is on the same page about their individual needs and interests as well as desired outcomes.
For example, if you need to express displeasure towards someone’s behaviour then clearly stating your purpose beforehand makes it easier to communicate your feelings without escalating further disagreement or hurt feelings.
If you become aware of certain difficult news like a friend has lost their job, expressing empathy from the outset allows them to trust in your sincerity and builds trust when discussing such sensitive issues.
When talking about societal issues like prejudices or biases regarding race or gender, clarifying your intention can create an open space for learning from each other, and facilitate progress within a respectful atmosphere without making anyone feel attacked or dismissed if there are differences of opinion or experience levels.
Choose The Right Time And Place
When it comes to difficult or uncomfortable conversations, choosing the right time and place is vital. Having a conversation in a rushed or hurried manner might not allow enough time for everyone to have their say, while being in an unsuitable location may cause one person to feel vulnerable due to lack of privacy.
The best location for such a conversation depends on its content and participants’ preferences, however certain situations would typically require somewhere more private than others.
For example when discussing potentially controversial subjects like politics or religion, it is usually better done in a room where there are only those involved in the discussion rather than an open public space with onlookers who could become hostile or judgmental about what is said.
Similarly if the purpose of the talk involves giving criticism it can be beneficial for this process to take place out of sight from co-workers who could easily overhear potential grievances voiced by another employee by accident.
Not all topics will need privacy but making sure everyone present has consented before hand helps maintain comfort levels among everyone when entering into such discussions.
Meanwhile timing can contribute greatly to ensuring continued focus. You’ll want their full attention, and willingness to engage in real dialogue, so picking times when they may be least likely be distracted will work best. This’ll result in more productive exchanges as well as fewer misunderstandings.
Consider Your Tone And Language
It is important to consider our tone and language when having a difficult or uncomfortable conversation. The way we present ourselves speaks volumes, and can have a major effect on the outcome of the conversation.
By using an appropriate tone and respectful and compassionate language, it is possible to create an environment that encourages honest dialogue without shutting down any constructive discussion.
Certain words, carry with them baggage, and are more likely to trigger a negative reaction in the other person. For example accusing someone else of behaving defensively is likely to get you a flat denial. Instead, if you are more likely to convey positive energy and encourage people to engage in active problem solving, if you are able to gently suggest a solution, they must feel under attack. Defending oneself is a perfectly reasonable reaction when you’re under attack, and therefore doesn’t imply any criticism.
When delivering feedback or discussing sensitive topics, it's important to avoid judgments, inflammatory remarks, blame-shifting statements or personal attacks as these often act as triggers instead of encouragers for meaningful conversations.
Instead of using a one-sided approach (i.e., accusing someone), try expressing yourself from your own perspective (i.e., "I am feeling frustrated" vs "You are annoying").
It also helps to keep good eye contact while speaking calmly with even tonality. Take pauses between sentences so that everyone has room enough to express themselves peacefully without rushing into conflict resolution prematurely.
Anticipate Potential Reactions
It is important to anticipate potential reactions before entering into an uncomfortable conversation. Before engaging in such a conversation, it is even more crucial to clearly and thoughtfully consider the expected responses from the other person.
When entering into a difficult conversation, it's common for people to begin to have feelings of fear or anxiety due to worries about how their words will be received by the other person.
It’s also important to recognise that just because you expect that someone may react differently than anticipated doesn't mean that your point was not valid or valuable. Typical responses during an uncomfortable exchange include defensiveness, anger, embarrassment, or hurt feelings which must be addressed with empathy and compassion in order to reach resolution on both ends of the conversation.
Actively listening without being judgmental is much more likely to be successful at finding mutual interests, as opposed to defaulting to emotionally fraught resistance, combative body language or flawed assumptions.
Strategies For Facilitating An Uncomfortable Conversation
Using the right strategies can make all the difference in having successful uncomfortable conversations. Identifying these strategies and applying them to a difficult conversation takes practice, but doing so will help you build strong relationships and foster growth. On our training course we’ll show you how, give tips, and help to practice until you’re confident.
Using Emotional Intelligence During Challenging Conversations
Being emotionally intelligent during tough conversations requires self-awareness and empathy. It's important to be aware of your own feelings and understand how they are influencing the conversation, as well understanding the emotional responses of the other people involved.
Empathy helps during difficult conversations by allowing you to take on a different perspective that allows you to better listen actively and show understanding for the other person's point of view.
Additionally, effective communication involves being clear in expectations, concise in explanations, and open minded to hearing opposing points of view so solutions can be found through compromise.
Seeing The Other Person's Perspective With Empathy
Empathy is an essential tool for successfully engaging in uncomfortable conversations. In difficult situations, it’s important to move away from judgement and towards understanding by cultivating cognitive empathy, or the ability to develop an accurate perception of a situation from another person’s perspective.
Active listening is key to this process. Make sure you are really hearing what someone has to say rather than simply waiting for them to stop talking so that you can interject your opinion or experience.
Additionally, repeating back what someone says (known as “mirroring”) helps show that not only have you been paying attention but also that their feelings matter regardless of whether or not they match yours.
Reframing the conversation may be necessary when tensions boil over. Try redirecting focus onto potential solutions rather than rehashing conflicts and grievances. It might even help illustrate how interests often overlap which can lead to mutual problem-solving opportunities while letting everyone walk away knowing they were heard and understood without any negative ramifications.
Following these verbal cues with body language demonstrating openness, curiosity, and interest will send nonverbal signals communicating empathy like nodding along actively with relaxed posture throughout the discussion matters too. On our training we’ll show you how to work towards showing genuine care about other's thoughts & ideas. This is no easy feat especially during heated disputes, however practice makes it a whole lot easier to accomplish this first step. Once you are able to demonstrate an empathetic understanding, you will ultimately have healthier, happier more productive relationships. This can make a huge difference to the if you have friction or face difficulties already, and prevent the quality of your relationship deteriorating if you anticipate difficulties ahead.
Getting The Other Person To See Your Perspective With Assertiveness
When engaging in a difficult conversation, it’s important to ensure that both sides feel they are being heard and understood. One of the best ways to do this is through assertive communication.
Assertiveness allows you to express opinions or ideas clearly and confidently without infringing on another person’s rights or coming off as overly aggressive or arrogant. To get somebody else to see your perspective with assertiveness, it's important to practice active listening by acknowledging their feelings first. By restating what they have said back to them accurately but without judgement, and focusing on common ground while avoiding assigning blame or criticism they’ll feel understood.
Once they feel understood they’re more likely to be willing to reciprocate and tune in on your wave-length. Using statements like “I feel …” instead of “You should …” can also help someone come into agreement with your perspective more easily since it doesn't insinuate blame or criticism which may cause a defensive reaction in the other person.
Emotional intelligence plays an important role in helping defuse tense situations. With effective use of body language such as open posture and gestures, appropriate eye contact, relaxed facial expressions and tone can improve understanding between both everyone during conversations about serious topics so that there is no misinterpretation.
Appreciating the other point of view can lead up towards positive results. Be curious not furious must be followed strictly here for progress.
Being Honest About Your Emotions
Being honest about your feelings during uncomfortable conversations is essential to a successful outcome. While it can be tempting to bite our tongues and suppress our true emotions, this often just leads to dissatisfaction on both sides and an even more difficult conversation in the future.
Suppressing your feelings may also indicate that you are not taking the other person's perspective into account, which can prevent meaningful communication open dialogue from occurring in the first place. Also, unless you are a skilful actor your true feelings are likely leek out in the for of sarcasm, or passive aggression. This is likely to feel unpleasant for the other person to be on the receiving end of. If you’re sending contradictory messages about your feelings it is likely to make you seem untrustworthy.
It's important to acknowledge what we are feeling beforehand so that we can respond with empathy and understanding instead of reacting with frustration or aggression. Taking a moment before speaking will allow us to stay calm, remain aware of how our words might affect others, maintain control over our behaviours and avoid potential escalation due to heated emotions.
Honesty also lays the groundwork for mutual respect as both sides feel heard and understood, fostering an environment for deeper connection between them.
Finding Common Ground
Common ground is an important way to bridge differences and help maintain productive dialogue during difficult conversations. It enables us to enter the conversation with a common understanding so that all parties feel respected, heard, and included.
One of the key skills necessary for finding common ground is active listening. Actively hear what the other person has to say without coming up with rebuttals or interrupting them.
Use pauses as needed to truly honour each other’s point of view before speaking your own mind. At times it may even be helpful to repeat back what was said in order for everyone involved in the conversation to have clarity on understanding each others' perspectives.
Show empathy by pausing occasionally after someone speaks. This conveys respect and nonverbal communication helps build trustful relationships even when discussing sensitive topics.
Make sure you verbally express agreement where appropriate so that there is no misunderstanding between people about their points of view throughout the discussion.
Focus on specific behaviour rather than generalisations while entering into any difficult conversation as this could lead easily into heated disagreement.
Addressing Power Dynamics
When navigating uncomfortable conversations, it may be necessary to acknowledge the power dynamics that may be present and address them directly. This can help create an atmosphere of mutual respect, trust, and understanding.
Power imbalances in conversations are often hidden but can nevertheless affect both participating parties. For example, an employee having a difficult conversation with their boss may feel obligated to accept whatever feedback or decisions are given without arguing because of their less powerful position in the hierarchy.
It can also help you to practice self-awareness when having conversations so that they are more aware of potential biases involving power dynamics. This includes reflecting upon background knowledge on topics being discussed and understanding how others active listening skills could influence the exchange as well.
Being mindful of different perspectives allows for greater participation. It discourages one person being too dominant and monopolising the conversation, or someone being silent for too long.
Actively working towards creating task forces which contain diverse members helps ensure many different viewpoints have a voice during difficult conversations. This helps to create safe spaces for productive discussions on meaningful topics even if there is a pre-existing power imbalance present within the room dynamic itself.
Dealing With Resistance Or Defensiveness
When dealing with resistance or defensiveness you’ll need to establish common ground and focus on mutual understanding to deescalate any resistance or defensiveness during the conversation.
Validating Emotions And Perspectives
A key strategy for having effective and meaningful difficult conversations is to validate the other person's emotions and perspective. Doing so shows that you are open to hearing their viewpoint, even if it differs from yours.
Validation involves acknowledging feelings such as hurt or fear, without judging them. This helps reduce defensiveness in other people, and help you foster an environment of trust and cooperation when talking about tough topics.
When discussing sensitive topics, validation can be a powerful tool for creating a safe space where people feel comfortable expressing themselves honestly with each other.
For instance, if someone expresses frustration over something going wrong, while another person disagrees with them about priorities, validating both people’s emotions can set up a dialogue wherein they can explore each others’ points of view without feeling judged or attacked.
Validation is also helpful when addressing systemic issues and power imbalances where both parties may have very different perspectives on what constitutes an ideal outcome. One person may see enforcement of existing rules as priority whereas the other might prioritiese changing those same systems completely.
Reframing The Conversation
Reframing is a powerful tool for difficult conversations as it helps facilitate the active listening process and shifts focus towards more productive outcomes.
Reframing involves understanding what the other person has said or expressed in order to provide them with an alternate perspective, usually one that is framed within a different context.
As an example, if someone expresses anger, reframing may help shift the conversation away from immediate strong emotions towards healthier and constructive resolutions. The goal of reframing isn’t simply to change how someone else feels, but to foster respect between both parties so they can effectively work together through challenging topics.
The technique of Motivational Interviewing (MI) Rolling With Resistance is particularly useful when extending this concept of reframing into practical use during uncomfortable interactions.
This method requires respectfully acknowledging any resistance without argumentation, while actively listening to their perspective, empathising with where they come from, and helping them see their issue from a very different perspective or angle by engaging in collaborative conversations rather than confrontational ones.
Taking A Break If Necessary
Often when having uncomfortable conversations, emotions can run high and tensions between participants can become fraught. While it may be difficult to pause the conversation in the heat of the moment, taking a break is an incredibly useful tool that can help dissipate emotions and reduce defensiveness.
For example, during any given tough talk around addressing problem behaviour with someone at work or home setting time limits such as five minutes or less before resuming discussion can ease anxiety while also helping build structure and allowing participants to remain task-focused throughout.
Also, choosing alternate settings such as going for a walk outside or stepping away from computers for important conversations is key for creating space between people which allows them to feel heard without feeling overwhelmed by what’s being discussed.
Bringing In A Mediator Or Neutral Party
Mediation is an effective process for facilitating uncomfortable or difficult conversations, like those that involve two people with hurt feelings and conflicting points of view.
A mediator acts as a neutral party who facilitates the conversation between the two sides without taking sides, highlighting interests and concerns to help them reach solutions that meet both people’s needs.
Mediator neutrality legitimises the mediation process by ensuring that decisions are in control of the people involved rather than influenced by other external factors or biases from either side.
In order to facilitate constructive dialogue during these types of conversations, mediators will typically use techniques such as linking rational and emotional thoughts to better manage emotions in conflict situations.
You can also help motivate people to let go of self-justifying stories and defensive perspectives while seeking out common ground between each other’s points-of-view.
The Importance Of Following-Up A Difficult Conversation
After the conversation, it is important to follow-up and ensure everyone involved is still on the same page. Taking time to reconnect after a difficult conversation can help build better relationships, foster understanding, and create more successful outcomes.
Expressing Gratitude
Expressing gratitude is a powerful tool in difficult conversations that can have far-reaching benefits in building stronger relationships, fostering growth, and resolving conflicts.
When we thank someone for their input or effort, even if it’s in the midst of a heated discussion, it conveys respect for their opinion and shows them how seriously we take them.
In return, they’re more likely to listen empathically to us when expressing our own point of view. It also helps keeping the communication open and prevents angry feelings from arising due to misunderstood intentions or actions.
There are many ways we can express gratitude. You may write letters or emails (for situations that require more time). You might tell them your appreciation during face-to-face conversations. You might show appreciation with body language such as facial expressions and hand gestures by emphasising certain keywords with enthusiasm so that the other person feels heard and understood. You may thank people over social media platforms via messages like posts on Facebook wall or tweets etc. Even small acts like acknowledging an idea somebody shared go a long way towards strengthening working relationships and making sure everyone’s voices are taken into account.
Gratitude not only helps create good vibes around conflict conversations but is also crucial when following up after a difficult conversation. Sending a courteous message talking about progress made since then goes beyond offering platitudes, especially if you happen to include specific details about what each individual has achieved. This helps rebuild trust while allowing everyone involved to stay focused on solutions rather than getting stuck discussing what happened previously.
Checking In On Progress
One of the most important steps in having successful uncomfortable conversations is to follow up. Following up after a difficult conversation confirms that both parties are mutually accountable for resolving the issue at hand and puts shared goals into actionable steps.
The goal should not be to rehash the conversation, but rather, to ensure progress is being made. In doing so we hope it will help to rebuild trust and foster stronger relationships between those involved as well as improve communication overall.
When following up on a difficult conversation it should ideally take place soon after initially meeting in order to ensure timely action-taking on any discussed topics or tasks needing attention such as setting another date and time if necessary for continued discussion and creating an environment where people can feel they are able continue discussing their issues without fear or worry.
Rebuilding Trust
Rebuilding trust after a difficult conversation requires defaulting to transparency. Though it may not feel natural, having an honest discussion about hurt feelings, misunderstandings, or assumptions is essential if you want create a positive future for the relationship.
Choosing empathy over criticism is key. Regardless of how valid their grievances might be, acknowledging and validating another's perspective by understanding where they’re coming from shows respect that often can start the path forward.
When both people are willing to communicate openly and honestly with each other, it can help rebuild trust after conflict has happened. Listening actively allows you to understand people’s motivations as well as the differences between yourselves.
Focusing on agreement rather than disagreement also creates an environment for healthy communication that encourages both sides exchanging thoughts without taking attack against one another, making transition smoother while healing any fragile wounds made by misunderstanding and miscommunication.
Examples of active listening include repeating back what was said in your own words, summarising key points at regular intervals throughout the discussion, paying attention not only to what someone says but how they say it using body language such as facial expressions or posture to convey interest or disinterest. It is also helpful to be aware of any personal bias which might affect your judgmental attitudes during the conversation. Not assuming you knows what another person will think before hearing them out completely, speaking respectfully even when you don’t agree is a skill that you can learn as part of our training course.
Reflecting On The Experience
After engaging in a difficult conversation it is helpful to take time to reflect on the experience and use it as an opportunity for growth. Reflection allows us to better understand the other person’s perspective, paint a clearer picture of what happened, look at areas where improvement can be made, and become more self-aware of our communication patterns.
Not only can this help in navigating future tough conversations with others, but reflecting on difficult conversations helps build stronger relationships over time.
When reflecting on a difficult conversation it's important to consider both people’s perspectives while focusing on your own actions or reactions. Be curious about yourself. How did you respond when faced with anger or frustration? Did you do anything that could have caused hurt feelings? Did you bring up someone else's behaviour without providing evidence? Through this self exploration you can work towards seeing if there are any lessons that can be learned from what happened. This will help you work towards understanding why something might have gone wrong instead giving into fear or guilt about what happened.
It also helps to create some type of system for tracking such experiences so that progress is not lost and changes can actually quantified over time. Whether by writing down questions after each conversation, speaking with mentor after they occur. This allows us a chance honestly assess ourselves objectively based off past performances and see out improvements.
How To Have Uncomfortable Conversations FAQs
Why is it important to have uncomfortable conversations?
Having uncomfortable conversations is an essential part of creating healthy relationships and ensuring understanding between people. By avoiding difficult discussions, it can be difficult to resolve the issues underlying a disagreement or cultivate trust with someone else.
How can I start having awkward talks?
Start by planning out what you would like to say in advance, focusing on being direct and respectful when addressing the issue at hand. Be sure to pick a quiet place where both parties can talk openly without distractions or judgement from others. Additionally, stay mindful of body language throughout the conversation hoping for clues as to how your message has been received. Your own emotional responses could indicate how the conversation needs reframing so everyone involved can be heard safely and securely before reaching any shared conclusions or plan of action moving forward together.
How do I know when it's time for an uncomfortable discussion?
If there are long-term unresolved misunderstandings or tensions between two people that neither party knows how to address directly then its likely time for some kind of meaningful conversation about what’s going on even if deep down one may not want these types of exchanges because they seem too daunting after so much time apart without resolution. Just remember that communication plays a key role in forming good relationships so while some topics may feel strange or overwhelming up front eventually all will work itself out.
What techniques would you recommend using during difficult conversations?
Active listening, recounting, echoing sentiments, empathy, assertiveness, open questions, curiosity, generosity of spirit, are more likely to lead to satisfying outcomes rather than aggravating ones generally speaking.