Effective Feedback and Constructive Criticism Training

What you'll take away from this feedback training

• How to generously praise without pandering or patronising,
• How to constructively criticise without attacking or antagonising,
• How to confront others WITHOUT discouraging and putting them on the defensive,
• How to avoid common feedback pitfalls that irritate others,
• How NOT to criticise, if you want to inspire and motivate others to change,
• How to be successful with others by giving positive, constructive and inspiring praise, while at the same time skillfully giving constructive criticism others will what to listen to.

This isn’t just a set of academic lectures where you learn a few bits of dry theory.  There are a few important principles to understand, however our approach is mainly practical.  We’ll explore why giving feedback is difficult to do, and what you’re really here for which is that you’ll get a very simple, clear and powerful skill set.

You'll learn exactly what to say, and how to say it to produce the effect you want.  You'll learn an emotionally intelligent method of giving authentic and effective feedback during appraisals.  Be both genuinely kind to the person and tough on the issue when giving constructive criticism.  You'll then have a lot of practice during individual coaching sessions with a trainer, so you get really good at it.  During the training programme we can help you prepare for meetings where you’ll be able to predict the kinds of things people might say so you can rehearse how best to respond in those situations.

By the end of the course, and with some skill and practice you can get to the stage where you’ll become a more influential and authoritative communicator, able to confidently “give it to people straight” without having to worry about whether the way you’re putting it is going to ruffle their feathers.

When developed alongside your empathy as part of our listening skills training you’ll even find that other people will be grateful for your attention because they’ll find your insights and thoughts about them so helpful, supportive and positive - even when you're telling them what you don't like. 

Best practice - how to make your constructive criticism more powerful with emotional intelligence

Appraisal training - how can I improve my feedback and constructive criticism skills?

There's a world of difference between constructive feedback and personal criticism.  It puts people's backs up when in the name of feedback they hear opinion, judgement, generalisation, unsought advice, or questions implying criticism.  Our feedback training will enable you to be much more specific, factual, generous spirited and constructive with your feedback.

How to give emotionally intelligent constructive feedback and constructive criticism 

You can make a start on improving the quality and effectiveness of your feedback before coming on the training course.  Here's how:-

Always start with praise

To give praise, think of something specific that the person has said or done that you feel good about, and give three pieces of specific information about it:-

1. The fact that you feel good, e.g., pleased, satisfied, impressed, full of admiration.
2. Secifically what you feel good about.
3. Why it makes you feel good.

Then pause and pay close attention. Allow time for your praise to sink in and for the other person to respond. Do not be in a hurry to start the criticism. Go on to the criticism only when you are sure he is in a receptive state of mind.

Then give your constrcutive criticism

Here's how. Think of one thing you feel bad about, and give 3 specific pieces of information:-

1. The fact that you feel bad, e.g., frustrated, concerned, dissatisfied, alarmed. 
2. What you feel bad about.
3. Why it makes you feel bad.

Then pause and pay close attention. Allow time for your criticism to sink in and for the other person to respond.

When you try out this method of giving criticism, pay close attention to how the other person is receiving it. Make your praise so specific, honest and generous that he feels genuinely approved of, and do your utmost to make the whole experience highly motivating for him.

Most people are amazed at how well this method works when they put it to the test.  But don’t be hard on yourself.  This kind of assertiveness training is hard to learn quickly.  Practise in easy situations before moving on to difficult ones. On the Skills with People course we'll give you a great deal of coaching and feedback to help you develop your confidence you can use this approach effectively.

Practical hints - we'll help you learn, practise and embed skills on this feedback training course

But surely, if I follow praise with criticism won’t I end being negative – and isn’t that wrong?

The key is – be generous. If you do a generous enough job with the praise, the criticism will also be received as positive. It will not be necessary to follow it with praise.

Is it really necessary always to start with praise?

Yes, it’s a pretty good rule of thumb. Otherwise your constructive criticism, however kindly meant and well done, is likely to put them on the defensive, and then it is much harder to get through to them.

How do I know when I have given enough praise?

The answer is, when they feel genuinely approved of. So be generous. Don’t stop at one piece of praise when you can find two. Don’t stop at two when you can find three. Convince them you are genuinely in their fan club. The result is electric. Imagine how it would feel if someone genuinely treated you like this.

What if I can't think of anything to praise them for?

Only when you suspend critical thoughts can you see the other person in a more generous light. How can you do this? By making a conscious effort to separate their perceived weaknesses from their strengths, and by setting aside their perceived weaknesses in order to focus your mind on their strengths.

What if I resent them too much to think generously about them?

You can't think generously while carrying a grudge. Grudges, or grievances, weigh heavily on us. But no one can make us carry them. We're free to let them go if we want to.

Am I not in danger of being patronising when I give praise?

Yes you probably will sound patronising unless you (a) make the praise very specific, and (b) say only what you sincerely mean. If you do these two things there's no danger of being patronising.

Why is the PAUSE so necessary when using this method?

It gives time for your words to sink in, and for the other person to respond. Most people are in a rush. Don’t be. This way of communicating works better slowly.

Must I always follow praise with criticism?

No, of course not. It works better if you give more praise than criticism. It also works well to praise often with no criticism attached – people will then be more accepting of your praise.

Testimonials - examples from participants (and a manager) who have had this feedback training

• “The 'Skills with People' has helped me deal with conflict situations.  It has helped me to diffuse tension in meetings and convert pushback into alignment.  Particularly the coaching sessions in preparation for the training event provoked introspection.  An unexpected spin-off has been a modification of my written communication – where similar concepts can be used as practised intensely at the course". - Senior Resource Consultant, Shell International.

• "This is the best non-techincal course the company has ever put me on because it's the most useful". - EHS advisor (environmental health and safety), Johnson Matthey. 

• "There has been a noticeable improvement in the performance of this customer service engineer.  He is much more succinct now than he was before.  He was highly satisfied with the course.  It was very effective and his improvement is invaluable". - Feedback from participant's boss - a Johnson Matthey Catalysts (Germany) senior manager.