Might your need to be more effective at giving feedback
be met by this London UK based management training course
called Skills with People?
Yes if you agree with any of the the following
- Sometimes it’s your job to correct people. But you don’t like doing it because it seems impolite – as if you’re not treating them with respect.
- If there was a way to correct them firmly but politely you’d find it very useful.
- You don't like having to appraise people's performance and are always glad when appraisals are over. Far from improving your relationships appraisal sessions seem to put them under strain. You accept it’s got to be done but don’t feel you have the skills to do it well.
- Sometimes you have to be tough with people, but you're not confident you can do it without causing offence. You'd love to be able to be tough on the issue yet soft on the person.
- You wish you knew of a tactful way to give criticism.
- You realise your criticism has failed when it puts people on the defensive.
- You rarely give much praise, but you wonder if you need to praise more in order to be more encouraging.
What you'll take away from this feedback training course
Your feedback and criticism will be more influential. We’ll show you how to balance generous praise with clear and tough criticism. In other words we'll help you develop the art of constructive criticism. It's difficult to succeed as a manager without being able to do this well.
If so, you can have a FREE exploratory coaching session. It'll give you a foretaste of what you can get from the course. You make no commitment to proceed beyond this until you're sure this training is relevant to your own particular need.
How to accept this offer
Simply contact us for a preliminary chat and to arrange your free exploratory coaching session.
What this session will do for you
In this session we'll aim to give you something practical you can use right away that'll help you handle a difficult situation more successfully at work. All you need do to prepare for this session is think about the kinds of situations you want to be able to handle more successfully.
You'll find answers to many of your questions about the content and method of this course under FAQs (in the main menu above).
How the skills you'll practise on this course
will make you much more effective
at giving feedback and criticism
How can I improve my feedback?
Just follow the simple practical guidelines given below, and you'll immediately find your feedback is better received. The guidelines are followed by some practical hints which give an idea of the approach you'll learn and practise on this course.
There's a world of difference between constructive feedback and personal criticism. It puts people's backs up when in the name of feedback they hear opinion, judgement, generalisation, unsought advice, or questions implying criticism. Our feedback training will enable you to be much more specific, factual, generous spirited and constructive with your feedback.
How to give constructive feedback and criticism
You can make a start on improving the quality and effectiveness of your feedback before coming on the training course. Here's how:-
Always start with praise
To give praise, think of something specific that the person has said or done that you feel good about, and give three pieces of specific information about it:-
- The fact that you feel good, e.g., pleased, satisfied, impressed, full of admiration.
- Secifically what you feel good about.
- Why it makes you feel good.
Then pause and pay close attention. Allow time for your praise to sink in and for the other person to respond. Do not be in a hurry to start the criticism. Go on to the criticism only when you are sure he is in a receptive state of mind.
Then give your criticism
Here's how. Think of one thing you feel bad about, and give 3 specific pieces of information:-
- The fact that you feel bad, e.g., frustrated, concerned, dissatisfied, alarmed.
- What you feel bad about.
- Why it makes you feel bad.
Then pause and pay close attention. Allow time for your criticism to sink in and for the other person to respond.
When you try out this method of giving criticism, pay close attention to how the other person is receiving it. Make your praise so specific, honest and generous that he feels genuinely approved of, and do your utmost to make the whole experience highly motivating for him.
Most people are amazed at how well this method works when they put it to the test. But don’t be hard on yourself. Practise in easy situations before moving on to difficult ones. On the Skills with People course we'll give you a great deal of coaching and feedback to help you develop your confidence you can use this approach effectively.
Practical hints showing the approach we'll help you learn and practise on this feedback training course
But surely, if I follow praise with criticism won’t I end being negative – and isn’t that wrong?
The key is – be generous. If you do a generous enough job with the praise, the criticism will also be received as positive. It will not be necessary to follow it with praise.
Is it really necessary always to start with praise?
Yes, it’s a pretty good rule of thumb. Otherwise your criticism, however kindly meant and well done, is likely to put them on the defensive, and then it is much harder to get through to them.
How do I know when I have given enough praise?
The answer is, when they feel genuinely approved of. So be generous. Don’t stop at one piece of praise when you can find two. Don’t stop at two when you can find three. Convince them you are genuinely in their fan club. The result is electric. Imagine how it would feel if someone genuinely treated you like this.
What if I can't think of anything to praise them for?
Only when you suspend critical thoughts can you see the other person in a more generous light. How can you do this? By making a conscious effort to separate their perceived weaknesses from their strengths, and by setting aside their perceived weaknesses in order to focus your mind on their strengths.
What if I resent them too much to think generously about them?
You can't think generously while carrying a grudge. Grudges, or grievances, weigh heavily on us. But no one can make us carry them. We're free to let them go if we want to.
Am I not in danger of being patronising when I give praise?
Yes you probably will sound patronising unless you (a) make the praise very specific, and (b) say only what you sincerely mean. If you do these two things there's no danger of being patronising.
Why is the PAUSE so necessary when using this method?
It gives time for your words to sink in, and for the other person to respond. Most people are in a rush. Don’t be. This way of communicating works better slowly.
Must I always follow praise with criticism?
No, of course not. It works better if you give more praise than criticism. It also works well to praise often with no criticism attached – people will then be more accepting of your praise.
Yet more reasons why you might benefit
from this feedback and criticism training
- You tend not to give much praise, for fear of being thought insincere or patronising.
- You feel awkward doing appraisals of people.
- You find it difficult to criticise or give critical feedback without antagonising.
- You have difficulty confronting problems with people and discussing unpleasant facts.
- You've never learned how to give constructive feedback.
- You need to develop your performance management skills.
- Sometimes people need to be confronted, and can benefit from tough, firm and clear feedback. You need to be more confident at doing this.
- Sometimes you have to be tough to be kind.
- You find it hard to broach a difficult subject, or confront a difficult problem.
- You need to get better feedback yourself, but don't know how to ask for it in a way that will make it specific and helpful, because the people from whom you need it are not very good at giving it.
- Sometimes you need to give voice to strong feelings, give correction, or criticism. express dissatisfaction, complain more effectively. And you'd like a tactful way of doing it.
- You need to to be better at helping people face hard facts.
- You need to be more generous with your praise.
Is there more information on this website
relevant to giving feedback and criticism?
Yes. You might also find our page on assertiveness relevant and helpful.