Online video coaching during the coronavirus (Covid-19) worldwide pandemic
During this time of the Coronavirus pandemic we’re obviously not able to deliver our courses in the traditional way in groups because of travel and social distancing restrictions, however all our training can be delivered online through video conferencing, or over the phone.
How to be more successful creating and building rapport
- a London UK management training course and leadership development programme
called Skills with People?
The two crucial emotional intelligence skills
every successful leader needs for creating or building rapport
Is this the right rapport building course for you?
Yes, if any of the following sound like you;-
- You're don't think you're as successful as you want to be at winning people's trust and cooperation.
- So you'd like to get honest feedback from people about how they feel when they're working with you.
- You've never paid much attention to the art of building rapport with people at work, but it could have an impact on your career, and therefore you're ready to start paying attention to it now.
- You particularly want to be good at building rapport with people you disagree with, because when there's a disagreement you've a tendency to get into argument and conflict.
- You've never paid much attention to the quality of my relationships with people at work. You just get on with the job and assume the relationship will take care of itself.
- You've never made a special effort to build better rapport with people at work. I've always assumed that if people don't want to cooperate with me it's up to them and there's not much I can do about it.
- Your way of building rapport is to have a laugh with people. It usually seems to work well. You don't know any other way.
- If someone doesn't want to cooperate with you, you're stuck. You don't know how to change their mind and create more affinity and good will when it seems to be missing.
- You're nervous about being over-familiar.
- People have told you that you come across as arrogant. It's not true because you don't feel superior to anyone, but you'd like to understand how they've got that impression.
- You don't know how to build or maintain a harmonious relationship when you have a disagreement of conflict with someone.
- You're a different person at work from the one you are outside work. You don't believe you can really be yourself at work.
- You'd like to know how to repair relationships when they break down, and how to create a more friendly, harmonious and cooperative atmosphere.
What you'll take away from this course on building rapport
- How to create harmony and rapport instead of misunderstanding and conflict. We'll help you develop your understanding, skills and confidence.
- How to swiftly tune in on other people's wavelength and help them tune in on your wavelength.
- How to handle delicate conversations with more sensitivity.
- Develop your emotional intelligence.
- How to win people's confidence and co-operation without appearing pushy or arrogant.
- How to be more confident when handling difficult people, difficult situations, uncomfortable or awkward conversations and clashing personalities.
A practical guide - how emotional intelligence can help you create and build rapport
How emotional intelligence can help you build rapport
Some people call these rapport-building skills 'soft' skills, though we think this is a misnomer because they actually make it much harder for people to resist your influence and say no to you. These 'soft' skills actually make you tougher and yet more satisfying to deal with.
People are difficult to handle when their negative emotions are aroused. If you don’t know how to handle emotion you're likely to lose rapport. Trust deteriorates. Misunderstandings arise. Relationships get damaged. In this atmosphere it is very hard to achieve what you want. The key regaining rapport is emotional intelligence, which boils down to mastering two crucial emotional intelligence skills, empathy and assertiveness. Helping you master these two skills is our main objective on the Skills with People course.
To illustrate the two rapport-building skills here are two examples of a brief phone conversation. The first is without the two crucial skills. The second is with them. The comparison shows how much more honest and yet harmonious and successful these skills enable you to be in building rapport and creating affinity.
First example - a conversation WITHOUT emotional intelligence
Anita is phoning Steve because she urgently needs his help. Steve is normally cooperative, but right now he is in the middle of a crisis. As you read the dialogue try to sense how successful Anita was being at building rapport:-
- ANITA: Good morning, Steve. Anita here.
- STEVE: Good morning, Anita. What can I do for you?
- ANITA: That information I asked you for last week – how’s it coming along?
- STEVE: Sorry. Haven’t had a moment to think about it. I’ll get on to it as soon as I can.
- ANITA: You said I could have it this week.
- STEVE: I know, but there’s a bit of a crisis on here.
- ANITA: When will I be able to have it?
- STEVE: Hard to say.
- ANITA: Can’t you give me a date?
- STEVE: Afraid not. You’ll just have to leave it with me. I’ll get on to it as soon as I can, okay?
- ANITA: Okay.
A comment on the first example
Anita's aware she's just failed to build rapport with Steve. She's aware that as a result of this conversation their relationship is even more distant than it was before. She's also aware of feelings beneath the surface of the conversation, but she's held back by an old mental habit, a belief she has held deep down for as long as she can remember: “My feelings are not to be trusted. I must hide them or people won’t like me.” As a result she keeps her distance and fails to build rapport with Steve.
But suppose she could replace that belief with this one: “I can trust my feelings because they alert me when something's wrong, and if I express them honestly others will take me seriously.”
Second example - the same conversation, but this time WITH emotional intelligence
Below is the conversation again. This time she uses the rapport-building skills taught on this course. Once again, as you read the dialogue try to sense how successful she is being in building rapport:-
- ANITA: Good morning, Steve. Anita here.
- STEVE: Good morning, Anita. What can I do for you?
- ANITA (lets him know she's aware he's under pressure and how she feels about chasing him; is also frank about her own urgent need): Steve, I know you’re under pressure so I feel bad about chasing you. But I’m very worried. If I don’t get the information you promised me last week I’ll miss a crucial deadline.
- STEVE (takes her seriously because she's being open and frank about how she feels; and it doesn't even occur to him to shut the door on her because she's also taking his problems seriously; he feels he can be frank with her, too): Sorry, Anita. This is a bad timing, I’m afraid. I’m in the middle of a crisis. I was hoping the information you needed wasn’t urgent.
- ANITA (once being open and frank she says why her need is so urgent): Now I’m even more worried. If I miss this deadline we could lose a major customer.
- STEVE (realises that whatever difficulties he faces, even more trouble will be caused if he fails to cooperate; starts thinking about how he can make time to do it): Hmm, I see.
- ANITA (can hear he's thinking, so waits patiently and encourages him time to let off steam): I’m obviously giving you a headache.
- STEVE (sighs): I’ll have to explain to my director why he’ll have to wait. He’s not going to like it.
- ANITA (continues being patient and honest): I wish I didn’t have to put you under pressure. Is there any way I can help?
- STEVE (lets out another big sigh; has by now adjusted to doing something he was at first reluctant to do): No, it’s okay Anita. I guess it’s not the end of the world. I’ll get on to it right away.
- ANITA (once again genuine and honest): I’m relieved. Thank you, Steve.
A comment on the second example
This time, instead of ending up afraid and suspicious of one-another they ended up with more mutual respect, understanding and trust. Anita had been much more successful in building rapport.
How did she achieve this? The simple answer is that she found a way of talking about her own and Steve’s feelings, and that enabled them to connect with one-another and resolve their difficulty rationally and harmoniously.
What are the two crucial rapport building skills?
- recognising, respecting and acknowledging his feelings and needs – this is what we're calling empathy,
- honestly admitting her own feelings and needs – this is what we're calling assertiveness.
Poor ability to create rapport is a handicap both in life and at work. This course gives you the two crucial emotional intelligence skills you need for creating or building rapport. We help you examine what you say and the way you say it, the extent to which it builds or detracts from your rapport with others, and what changes you could make that would increase your rapport. Then we help you practise until you're confident you succeed in building rapport. The course includes a great deal of private and confidential one-to-one coaching.
For more information on this website relevant to building rapport you might also find our pages on customer liaison training, managing conflict and winning friends relevant and helpful.
Testimonials for this rapport building training
Feedback from the managers of participants who took this training
- "He is showing far more self-awareness and more restraint in potentially confrontational situations. He is far more aware of the impact his actions and behaviours have on people."
- Feedback from a participant's boss - a Shell International senior manager
- "There has been a noticeable improvement in the performance of this customer service engineer. He is much more succinct now than he was before. He was highly satisfied with the course. It was very effective and his improvement is invaluable."
- Feedback from a participant's boss - a Johnson Matthey Catalysts (Germany) senior manager
FREE exploratory coaching session. Become really good at building rapport. CLICK HERE and get started now
INTERESTED?
- If so, you can have a FREE exploratory coaching session over the phone or video call.
- It'll give you a foretaste of what you can get from the course.
- You make no commitment to proceed beyond this until you're sure this training is relevant for you.
- You don't have to be based in the UK to receive this training. The one-to-one coaching can be extremely effective over video calls.
What will this session do for you?
In this FREE video coaching session a trained expert will aim to;-
- gently explore what you're looking for help with. Learning challenging new skills is much easier when you feel safe, so we like to create an un-pressured atmosphere,
- diagnose your particular training needs,
- answer any questions,
- give you something practical you can use right away that'll help you handle a difficult situation more successfully at work. We'll teach you what to say, and how to say it to achieve the results you want.
How to accept this offer
- Simply ring Alex Gould on +44 (0)1727 847 889 for a preliminary chat and to arrange a session,
- or, email him at alex@gouldtraining.co.uk
- or, if you'd like us to contact you please fill out the form below and we'll contact you and to arrange a convenient time for your free exploratory coaching session:-