Calming people down - training for managers and professional people

If you want to calm people down allow them to express their feelings.  “But surely," you may think, "expressing feelings ony makes the feelings stronger.  Isn’t it kinder to tell people to cheer up - to say, ‘Don’t cry’.”   No it isn’t.  What makes people feel worse is suppressing feelings.  If they can’t let off steam they remain in a wound-up state of mind.

This idea has far reaching implications for all our interactions both at work and at home.  Emotions are always present.  They’re part of being alive.  And emotions need to be expressed, otherwise they swamp our minds and prevent us from functioning rationally.  That means that if we want to get the best out of people who are wound up we need to encourage them by letting off steam to calm down.  And there are opportunities to calm people down several time a day. 

The London based Skills with People course teaches you how to calm people down.  A very good way is simply to pay attention to them and listen with empathy.  Calming people down is a listening skill.

(See also Skills with People course contents, Emotional intelligence, Handling aggression.)